Both husbands and wives need each other. As a husband, when you first fell in love you probably felt like you couldn’t live without each other. She made you feel alive, important, and needed. Life was good. (And yes, wives, Your Husband Needs You too.)
As a husband, in the years since then it’s been easy to lose that sense of being indispensable. Especially if your wife has become somewhat successful herself you may secretly wonder if she really needs you all that much. If you’re bringing home the money perhaps you feel somewhat used and unappreciated. If you bring home less than she does you may feel more like a drag on the family than the man you want to be.
Saying “I need you” can be very hard. Sometimes it’s even harder to say than “I love you.” Blessed indeed is the husband whose wife says to him, “I need you!” If your wife lets you know where she needs you, be grateful.
But whether she says it to you or not, she DOES need you. Nobody else can do for her what you can do. She needs you in at least these ways:
- Unconditional love. You know her good aspects and her dark side, her strengths and her weaknesses. She may try to keep you from seeing the less pleasant parts of her; that’s why it’s all the more important that the one who knows her better than anyone else – you – loves her best, even though you may not understand everything about her. She needs you to show her love most when she feels least lovable.
- Believe in her. She gets bombarded with messages every day that make her feel like she’s not measuring up; she’s too fat, too old, not pretty enough, not social enough, not good enough to do what she dreams of doing. Your encouragement can be like the wind beneath her wings. Show you believe in her, and she’s likely to soar and make you burst with pride.
- Help her feel like a woman. How you treat your wife has a bigger impact on her sense of womanhood than anything else in her life. If you treat her as beautiful, precious, and special she’ll be inclined to display her beauty to you, both physically and spiritually. Treat her as the most valuable thing in your world, like the queen you desire, and she’ll become that and more.
- Protect her. She needs to feel you standing guard against all that may try to come against her; other people’s negative opinions, pressure to be who she’s not, financial want, etc. It’s not that she’s weak: she’s not. But your roll as protector makes her feel safe and helps her flourish. She needs you to do the heavy lifting whenever you can, even if you can’t keep bad things away all the time.
- See her as your partner. Most women want to be included; that’s their relational nature. You will bring her great joy by asking for and valuing her opinion, bringing her into your confidence in business decisions, and keeping her by your side as you go through life in every way. Value her help, and she’ll be much more likely to offer it generously.
- Be a stabilizing force. While some women are incredibly strong, some women are naturally less “solid.” Whether it’s emotional pressures, hormonal changes, or other life stresses affecting her, she needs you to be her rock. She needs you to be there when the other parts of her life are shaken up. You can’t always fix things: she knows that. But just be there.
- Lead in the home. Current political correctness often leaves men feeling unimportant and powerless. But your wife does need you to lead. That doesn’t mean using force or anger to control her. It DOES mean being the kind of man she would want to follow, taking necessary risks on behalf of the family, and taking responsibility for keeping God as the true Head of your home.
The short film Johnny Lingo shows how powerful a husband can be in his wife’s happiness, and helping her become her best.
Blessed indeed is the wife whose husband understands how much she needs him, and does all he can to meet those needs. And blessed is the husband whose wife receives what he offers, and flourishes to be the beauty his heart can enjoy.
Your Turn: How does your wife need you? What difference can you make in her life by meeting those needs? Leave a comment below.
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