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Man praying
Christian Life, Overcoming Hardship, Resources and Links, Spiritual Struggle

God Doesn’t Always Fix You

By that I mean, God doesn’t always fix you in some magical single moment. In the ultimate sense God always helps you. The Bible says so. I’ve experienced it. You’ve experienced it. But sometimes your heart has a hard time believing it. Sometimes it seems as though God is doing everything else except help you.

When you pray and struggle and nothing seems to get better your faith is challenged.

  • You are sick and in pain, and keep praying for God to heal you.
  • You have more bills than money, and keep asking God to send you resources.
  • Your mind wrestles with depression or anxiety, and you keep asking God to take it away.
  • You struggle with an addiction to pornography or alcohol, and keep asking God for deliverance.
  • Your marriage is in trouble, and you keep praying for God to fix it.

It’s always right to pray. Always. But sometimes that’s not all you need to do. Frequently you need to put legs on your prayers.

Frederick Douglas said, “I prayed for 20 years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.” Perhaps it’s time to start walking!

Repeated scientific research on spirituality and health demonstrates that when facing tough stuff, those who see themselves working together with God come through their challenges with better wellbeing and spiritual resilience. Those who either try to do it all themselves or sit back waiting for God to do it all do consistently less well. It’s Philippians 2:12-13: God works, and we work. It’s you and God working together.

Here are 3 ways to pray with your legs.

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Couple holding hands
Marriage and Family Life, Marriage and Relationships, Relationships

5 Things Your Wife Needs From You

There’s the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” And as a husband you have a tremendous impact on your wife’s wellbeing. If your wife is not responding to what you’re doing now, perhaps it’s time for a change. Your wife needs very specific things from you, and when you provide them she will flourish.

Your wife is responsible for her own behavior; women can certainly behave badly too. But you are the husband. God has called you to lead. Your impact on your wife’s wellbeing is likely much greater than you realize.

For your own sake, pay attention to these 5 needs your wife has. These are needs that no one else can meet to the degree that you, as her husband, can. Meeting these needs may feel unnatural to you, but just do it. Your wife’s mental/emotional/physical/spiritual wellbeing, and the peace, intimacy, and love in your home, will dramatically improve as a result.

  1. Non-sexual affectionate touch

Sad and lonely women write to me; “He can’t touch me without having an erection. I can’t get close to him.” “My husband has held me only twice in our twelve years of marriage.” “He never touches me, kisses me, or even holds my hand. I’m so hurt.”

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Standing Firm
Bible Teaching, Christian Life, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Life

If You’re a Christian, You’re a Professional

I’m a professional. And if you’re a Christian, you’re a professional too whether you feel like one or not.

I’m a physician. In my work as a physician I write prescriptions, deliver babies, perform surgeries, and give directions to other members of the healthcare team. I’m expected to provide consistent high-quality care to my patients using the best information and skills available to me. Those expectations are the same regardless of how I feel on any given day. I can’t get away with performing a surgery less skillfully simply because I’m tired, upset about a nasty email, or anxious to get to a birthday party for one of my grandchildren.

I don’t write prescriptions, perform surgery, or give medical orders in order to be a doctor. In fact, if I tried to do those things without the appropriate training, experience, and credentials I’d be hauled off to jail! My behavior flows out of who I have become. I really don’t have much choice in the matter. I’m either a doctor, or I’m not.

As a doctor I don’t TRY to do things; there are some things I simply DO because I AM a doctor.

Do I do those things perfectly every time? Absolutely not. But I’m responsible for giving it my absolute best every single time. I’m also responsible for taking care of myself well enough so that I can do my best, and for continuing to learn so that I remain at the forefront of my profession.

You are a professional too. If you’re a believer, if you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior and have chosen to be a part of God’s kingdom, you are a professional. You may not feel like one much of the time, but you are one. You don’t get a free pass on days when you just don’t feel like it. You probably don’t do it “right” all the time, but you’re either a Christian or you’re not. This is what you signed up for when you said yes to Jesus.

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Addiction
Emotional and Mental Health, Marriage and Family Life, Marriage and Relationships, Relationships

Your Spouse’s Bad Behavior: 5 Things to Do

Your spouse’s bad behavior can make your life seem as though it’s falling apart. Your psyche is stretched to the limit, and you’re not sure how much longer you can survive if things don’t change. You could really use some concrete ways to move forward, or at least a clear way to think about things.

I hear from spouses every day:

  • “My husband refuses to get help for his gambling and substance abuse. He won’t even acknowledge he has a problem.”
  • “My wife is only after me for my money and spends irresponsibly. She refuses to engage in intimacy or conversation.”
  • “My husband has had a mistress for several years. He keeps promising to cut things off with her, but he’s back with her again.”
  • “I’m always walking on eggshells around my husband. I never know what will cause him to fly into a rage. I live in fear.”

You’ve tried to change your spouse – unsuccessfully. You’ve threatened, cried, put up with, tried to let it go, ignored, waited, and anything else you can think of. Perhaps you’ve tried to get professional help and read anything you can find on the subject. You’ve prayed and prayed, and things are still the same. Am I stuck with this miserable marriage forever? Is this “bad enough” for a divorce? Why doesn’t God fix my marriage when I keep asking Him to?

If you want the same results, keep doing the same thing. If you don’t, it’s time for a change. Time for YOU to change.

Feeling emotional, powerless, and desperate is understandable. But decisions made from that mindset almost never result in a good outcome.

No marriage is perfect. You and your spouse are both sinners. However, thoughtfully working through the following 5 areas will provide a framework for you to move forward.

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Holding onto Mom
Christian Life, Emotional and Mental Health, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Struggle

Finding Safety in God’s Presence through Worship

If you’re a parent you know what it’s like to have your toddler run to you when they became afraid or anxious. They would lift their arms for you to pick them up, grab you around the neck, and hold on for dear life. Your presence could make bad dogs, crowds of people, thunder, or anything else scary suddenly be OK. In your arms monsters could disappear, boo-boos become all better, and little wounded spirits would be healed.

That’s what the safety in God’s presence can do for you.

We live in a world where bad stuff happens. Bad people do bad things. Natural disasters and trouble with job, marriage, or money are common. People get sick and sometimes die. Our homes, our church, our nation, our world are under frequent if not constant attack. We’re often left with a sense that so much is out of our control. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed and bombarded.

It’s good to know that like a child, we can run into our Father’s arms and find peace, healing, safety, and so much more. “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deuteronomy 33:27)

Worship is the way you get there.

Worship is different than praise. While praise it vitally important, worship is deeper and more intimate. Praise stirs up the soul, and is often directed outward, telling others how great God is. Worship stills the soul, and is directed toward God alone. (Psalm 46:10)

In worship the posture of your soul is like that of John when he saw in person the risen ascended glorified Jesus. John did not express excitement, leap with joy, and rush to gather others around. Instead, “When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead.” (Revelation 1:17)

In true worship you lose sight of anyone and anything else. You forget your surroundings and your troubles, and time has no meaning. All your senses are transfixed by the person and presence of Jesus.

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