Both husbands and wives need each other. This is a message to wives. Many men like to pretend they are the Lone Ranger – self-sufficient, strong, and invincible. They often hesitate to acknowledge their need for anyone else.
But the truly wise man realizes that being a Lone Ranger is only a front. He really does need others, especially his wife. Voicing that need to one’s spouse may be even more difficult than saying “I love you.” But it’s just as important. (And yes, husbands, your Wife Needs You too.)
As a wife it’s probably no surprise to you that your husband needs you. You may respond, “Of course he needs me. I always knew he needed a lot of help!”
Seriously now, blessed indeed is the wife whose husband says to her, “I need you!” If your husband lets you know where he needs you, be grateful. But even if he doesn’t verbalize it to you as such, you can be sure your husband needs you in at least these ways:
- Unconditional love. You know his good parts and his dark side, his strengths and his weaknesses. He may try to keep some things from you, but you’re still the one who knows him best. If the one who knows him better than anyone else – you – loves him best, it meets the deepest needs he has.
- Believe in him. He may struggle to let you know it, but your opinion of him matters more to him than anyone else’s. You’re his most important fan. If you’re there cheering him on, he’ll willingly take on the biggest challenge and push through to the end to make you proud. It’s the biggest and most important part of respect, and it will feed his soul like nothing else can.
- Understand his emotions. Many men struggle to understand what they feel, and even more in knowing how to express it. If you do so tenderly and privately, you can be a tremendous help to him in putting words and context to his emotions. You can be a mirror to help him understand himself better.
- Intuition and safety. Dave Ramsey often tells how any important hire in his company or any long-term decision must pass muster with his wife. Your God-given “sixth sense” can be invaluable in family matters, business, spiritual life, and more. A wise woman will know the time and place to say something in a way he will be most likely to accept.
- Nurture his heart. Inside every man is also a little boy who struggles with fears and anxieties, and who wonders if he will ever be good enough to make it. As his wife you are privileged to see that part of him at times. He needs you to see, love, and nurture those parts of him he’s not sure anyone would want.
- Cover his faults. I’m definitely not talking about hiding abuse, addiction, or other such destructive behaviors. But God designed you as his helper for good reason. He has blind sides he needs you to watch out for, weaknesses you can strengthen, and places you can help him become stronger.
- Make a home. The bachelor pad stereotype is pretty typical! He needs you to keep a safe, pleasant, and soul-nurturing place to come home to, both emotionally and physically. It doesn’t have to be expensive or perfect: it just has to be comfortable, welcoming, and safe, a place he can unwind and be himself away from the world he fights in every day.
Blessed indeed is the wife whose husband acknowledges how much he needs her, and appreciates what she does to meet his needs in these ways. And blessed is the husband whose wife understands how powerful she can be in his life by doing so.
Your Turn: How does your husband need you? What difference can you make in his life by meeting those needs? Leave a comment below.
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