Woman standing alone

If you’re a single woman, the idea of God as your husband may be a wonderful comfort. Or it may sound like a cruel joke. If you’re a married woman, it might also seem very confusing. And does this apply to a man? What does that really mean?

I lived as a single woman for 48 years before meeting my husband, and I felt more than my share of loneliness. I asked “Why me?” more times than I can count. Every now and then I’d hear some other single lady talk about the comfort she found in knowing God as her Husband, and I’d wonder what she had that I didn’t. (See Isaiah 54:4-5)

But it really didn’t make much sense to me. I wanted a husband with skin on! I wanted someone to kiss me and hold me, to go to bed with at night and wake up with in the morning, to keep me from being lonely. And I wanted someone to talk to when I needed. Although I became very good at taking care of myself, I thought it would be awfully nice to have someone take care of me every now and then.

And although I loved God, He doesn’t have skin on! How could He be those things to me?

My picture of God went through a lot of cleaning up and growing up during those years. And over time I learned what it was those ladies talked about when they said, “God is my Husband.” And I can honestly say that a few years before I met my husband Al, I too learned to know God in that way. It became the most important dimension of God’s work in my life.

And I still know Him in that way. If anything, being married has deepened my understanding of who God is to me. And I’m absolutely certain that this aspect of my relationship with God has made me a much happier and more successful wife.

“For your Maker is your husband.” (Isaiah 54:5) So what does this look like? How is God like a Husband? And how can He be that to me if I’m married now?

Here are some things God does even better than any earthly husband:

  1. He makes me feel special. A word from Scripture directly to my heart, a whisper to my soul when I’m feeling lonely or anxious, a kiss of sunshine or a radiant flower – it’s all from Him. I’m important enough for Him to talk with, give to, and be there for. I’m Number One to Him.
  2. He is always there. Even the best possible spouse cannot be there 100% of the time. But God is! He’s never asleep, out of town, pre-occupied, or sick. He won’t go away, and He will never die. I can count on Him to be there. (Hebrews 13:5)
  3. He understands me. I’m no mystery to God. He made me the way I am, so of course He knows everything about me. Although He wants me to talk to Him about what I feel, He knows all about it even before I do. I don’t have to explain myself to Him. (Isaiah 65:24)
  4. He has no limits. Even the best spouse is limited by time, space, understanding, resources, and more. God has no limits. He can supply my needs – material, emotional, spiritual – from His unlimited supply. And He loves to do so! I never need worry that my needs are too much for Him. (Philippians 4:19)
  5. He believes in me. He knows my capabilities: He gave them to me. He knows the mission He built me to fulfill in this world. He sees the beauty, strength, and wisdom that are within me – that He put there. He knows I have what it takes to do the job at hand.
  6. He only asks from me what I have to give. My husband is eternally appreciative of whatever I do, but sometimes he needs things that I cannot provide. God asks EVERYTHING of me, and it is enough. There’s never a time He is limited by my abilities. He fills me up without needing anything from me in return.

OK, these are very subjective. But in today’s world, where I don’t “need” a husband for financial security, aren’t these the kinds of needs we feel most as single women? And aren’t they where many of us married women feel unfulfilled?

I almost hesitated to publish this article, knowing my husband will read it. God has given me a man who loves both God and me, believes in me, and is unconditionally devoted to me. I am one of the most blessed women anywhere. And I am grateful! (Note: my husband has passed away since I wrote this article.)

But I also know that there are many single women who are hungry for a husband, like I was. There are many married women who feel lost and alone. And there are many women, like me, who know that one day they are likely to be alone again. (My husband is older than I am.)

So whether married or single, young or old, I pray you come to know God in this most intimate of ways.

How do you do that? By sticking around. Sit in His presence. Be real with Him. Listen. Give Him a chance to make Himself known to you. And He will.

May you come to know Him as Enough.

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:4,5

Your Turn: Have you come to know God as your divine Lover, your Husband? Leave a comment below.

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