Buried somewhere in your soul beneath the bravado, the anger, the pasty smile, or the hopelessness, there’s a desire to be known. Truly known, intimately, for who you really are.
You may have long ago given up hope of ever having that desire fulfilled. You may have forgotten you ever wanted something so dangerous. You may have even come to hate yourself for having such an impossible longing. But in moments when you’re alone that desire sometimes rears its head, unwilling to go away.
One reason some people take big sexual risks is a misguided attempt to meet that need for being known. Intimacy and sexuality may be connected, but not necessarily. And trying to meet intimacy needs with sexuality gets you into all kinds of trouble.
True intimacy feels overwhelmingly vulnerable. Remember the lyrics to the popular song, “Sometimes when we touch the honesty’s too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide.” It’s not the physical touch the singer is afraid of; it’s the honesty, the vulnerability, being known.
In a perfect world you would grow up happy, never experiencing disappointment, betrayal, or violence to your soul. You would have nothing to hide, and you would allow yourself to be known at the right time.
But our world is anything but perfect. Instead of free and open, you stay hidden, with all the pain that doing so entails. You put up a false front to coworkers, friends, family, church members, even your doctor. You’re afraid if they knew the real you they wouldn’t like you. They’d reject you, punish you in some way.
And then you would be more alone than ever.
You’re afraid of being hurt.
And of course you hide from your spouse, the person who should know you the best.
Really, now. If you’re married, what doesn’t your spouse know about you? How about stuff from your past, anxieties, fears, secret wishes, places where you are vulnerable, things you do when you’re alone, ways you try to satisfy your needs, dreams for the future. If you’re honest with yourself, you would be rare indeed if you can’t think of many things your spouse doesn’t know about you.
But that’s not yet the worst of it. More than anything else,
You hide from God.
We have been trying to do that ever since Adam and Eve. And it hasn’t worked yet!
Isn’t it sad that you try to hide from the only One who you can safely be yourself with? He won’t reject you, leave you, or turn you away.
And when you stop trying to hide from Him, you will discover that He knows you already. And loves you anyway.
Your turn: What part of you are you trying to hide? How has that kept you from finding the human and Divine connections you need? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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