When God disappoints you

You know better, or at least you think you do. Your head, your Christians friends, the things you recall from the Bible tell you that God is good, and that He is for you. But your prayers don’t seem to accomplish anything. Couldn’t God come through for you if He wanted? Your soul can get disheartened and your faith shaky when God disappoints you, or at least when it feels like He does.

Perhaps you’ve wrestled with being disappointed with God. You’ve prayed for healing, and you’re still sick. You’ve asked God for restoration in your marriage, or for a spouse in the first place, and you’re lonelier than ever. Your mind seems just as troubled, your bank account just as empty, your future just as nebulous and your relationships just as hopeless as before. Perhaps you were sure you heard God say something, and it hasn’t happened.

Surely God could fix you if He wanted to. Isn’t that what He promised?

Well, Yes. And No.

It pleases God when His children are healthy, wealthy, and wise. But if God is only a heavenly vending machine – put in a prayer, get out a blessing – the faith heroes in the last part of Hebrews 11 must have been doing something wrong. (See Hebrews 11:35-40) Your financial statement or your physical health is not a measure of your faith. In the same statement Jesus promised His followers two things – trouble, and peace. (John 16:33)

Let me help you put these things in perspective, and navigate away from the disappointment that so easily creeps in. There are bigger things at stake, and it will help you to remember them.

Why I’m Not Disappointed

I’ve been there. As a teenager I was sure I heard God say something specific, and it didn’t happen – ever. Some time later I went through a period of very severe distress, doing everything I could to get better – including praying all the time, with no apparent results for years. Not that many years ago I acted on what I believed was God’s direction and landed in some big financial difficulties. Building this ministry in the last few years has been a lurching twisting journey, and not because of lack of effort on my part.

Through each one of those parts of my story I have grown. And I’ve noticed that each time my sense of disappointment becomes less. It’s not that I expect less; the stakes actually become higher and higher with each new experience. The potential downside of “failure” becomes more dramatic. But as I’ve learned to trust Him more, my vulnerability to disappointment becomes less when things don’t turn out as I wish.

Over time God’s messages to me have become less about me and more about His kingdom and the job He has given me to do in it. It’s not all about me! And going through all this “stuff” with God has taught me so much about me, and about Him.

  • Six months with absolutely no income and enormous financial debt taught me what it means to “take no thought” about material things. (Matthew 6:25-34)
  • My four years of hell taught me to “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5), and to plead the blood of Jesus.
  • Walking through the grief of my husband’s death taught me that death will die and eternity will be forever!
  • Building this ministry has taught me that it’s God who builds the house, and it’s most certainly not about me.

None of those experiences were or are pleasant. All involved major pain, major struggle, major risk of disappointment, major seemingly unanswered prayers. But I wouldn’t trade any one of them for any amount of money.

God does not enjoy it when we hurt; He hurts with us! But our sorrows are only wasted if we hold on to them. Giving our sorrows to Jesus always results in transformation. Tweet that.  This is not about God causing us pain to teach us a lesson. No, it’s about His miraculous ability to take anything and turn it into meaning. (See Genesis 50:20)

Four Things to Know and Do

If you’re wrestling with disappointment, pay attention to these things.

  1. Remember the War

We live in a war zone. We get wounded in the crossfire between the kingdom of God and Satan’s kingdom of darkness. Sometimes our wounds are caused by others, sometimes by our own decisions, and sometimes there’s no “reason.” Many of our sorrows only make sense in the context of this great conflict.

When facing trouble, it’s worth pausing and seeking God for His interpretation of the situation. One brief moment of seeing the context can change everything.

  1. Don’t Waste Your Sorrows

Years ago Paul Billheimer’s little book Don’t Waste Your Sorrows made a big impact on me. If you and I are to rule and reign with Christ for eternity, there’s training we need to go through. Remember, God does not enjoy your pain! But He can use your pain to train you.

Through God’s miraculous transforming grace your sorrows can become priceless. Your physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual muscles can gain strength. Give Him your sorrows, and He will use them. Learn all you can learn. Grow anywhere you can. Let God be in charge of your “education.”

  1. Take the Long View

Especially in our 21st century culture we are used to instant gratification; a pill to fix everything, instant credit, fast food, and hoped-for drive-through breakthroughs. But that kind of superficial spirituality is ultimately neither satisfying nor successful.

Yes, God has promised to wipe every tear from our eyes – in eternity. (Revelation 21:4) We’ll need them wiped away! We’ll need the leaves of the tree of life, created for the healing of the nations. (Revelation 22:2) Hold on; you can make it! It will be worth everything.

  1. In the Meantime, Choose Trust

God can. God does. And even if He doesn’t, trust Him anyway. That’s the stance the 3 Hebrews took when faced with the fiery furnace. (Daniel 3:17-18) That’s what the battle is about in spiritual warfare. It’s about Who you and I will ultimately listen to, believe, trust, follow, love, honor, and worship.

If that kind of faith seems too “out there,” don’t worry; none of the Bible heroes and none of God’s friends then or now have come to that kind of faith without a struggle. Simply make the choice today to stay on God’s side. And then make the choice again tomorrow.

And as your trust grows, your disappointment will lessen.

Your Turn: Have you been disappointed with God? How have you responded? How might you change your response so you don’t waste your sorrows? Leave a comment below.

Tweetables: why not share this post?

  • What do you do when God disappoints you? Most or all believers struggle with that at some point. Here are 4 things to know and do in dealing with your disappointment.   Tweet that.

How’s Your Communication?

Communication is the Number 1 issue couples struggle with. Understanding your Communication Style will help make your communication more effective.

This brief FREE Communication Personality Assessment will provide you personalized results indicating your communication strengths, communication challenges, and some tips on taking your communication to the next level. You really can experience deeper intimacy and a more loving relationship.

Take the Communication Personality Assessment now!