It’s one of the first questions I ask a patient who comes to see me: “What do you want us to accomplish together?” As a gynecologist and reproductive endocrinologist I might get answers such as, “To get pregnant,” or “get rid of this pain,” or “regulate my periods,” or “stop these hot flashes.” Of course there are plenty of other possible answers also.

So much frustration, misunderstanding, disappointment, and upset feelings can be avoided by getting this clear up front. Medically, I may or may not be able to help a patient get what they want, but it’s always the most important issue to address.

The same thing holds true in so many areas of life. Clarifying what you want dramatically increases your chance of getting it.

Even Jesus followed this when talking with people. He often asked something like, “What do you want me to do for you? (See Matt 20:32, Mark 10:36, John 5:6). Even God has a hard time satisfying us if we have no idea what we want!

A young lady working in my medical office recently delivered a baby, and now she’s complaining about how hard it is to lose the weight she feels she needs to. Yet she consistently keeps candy and other junk food at her work station, and snacks frequently throughout the day. When her coworkers confronted her about this she said, “I guess I don’t really want to lose weight that bad. Maybe later I’ll put away the candy.” At least she’s being honest about what she really wants: she wants candy!

If you want something bad enough you’ll take extraordinary steps to get there:

  • Do you really want to get out of debt, or do you want to enjoy credit card spending?
  • Do you really want a peaceful marriage where you and your spouse communicate, or do you want to always be right in any argument?
  • Do you really want to be healthy and feel good, or do you want to hold on to your junk food and sitting-down lifestyle?
  • Do you really want to be happy, or do you want to wallow in your depression and get everyone else’s sympathy?
  • Do you really want God’s help to solve your problem, or do you want to keep doing things your own way?

Sure, there are plenty of reasons why you may not always get all you desire. But the surest way to guarantee you won’t is to do nothing.

Remember: if you aim at nothing, you’ll get it every time.

Your turn: What do you really want? What is important enough to you that you will do something extraordinary to achieve your desire? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

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