Couple Together

One more night of wishing. One more night of being brushed aside and feeling rejected. One more night of frustration, and wondering if things will ever get any better. One more night of trying to suppress your physical drives. One more night of anger at being misunderstood. One more night of wondering if you made a mistake in getting married.

You don’t want to look outside the marriage for satisfaction, but sometimes you’re not sure how much longer you can put up with things the way they are.

Let me hasten to make clear that your wife is an adult, and she is completely responsible for her behavior. You cannot make choices for her.

But you won her heart once. Wouldn’t you like to do it again? Wouldn’t you like to be her Knight in Shining Armor? Wouldn’t you like for her to look at you the way she did when you first said, “I DO?”

Sure, you want her. You want the physical connection of sex. You want to feel like a man. But you also want more than that.

You want her to want you!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. We women don’t only want you to win our heart once: we want you to keep on winning our heart over and over. We want you to be our hero again and again.

That’s not as hard as it seems. And don’t waste time wondering if it’s fair or unfair: it’s just the way a woman’s heart works.

So how do you make her want you? How do you become irresistible to her?

We could talk about the “little” but important things such as grooming, hygiene, helping around the house, etc. But there’s really only one primary way to become irresistible to your wife:

Treat her as the most valuable thing in your world.

And I guarantee she will respond with desire. Maybe not perfectly, and maybe not the first time you try. But she will want you if you value her.

What does that look like?

  • Express your desire for HER, not just her body.
  • Respect and listen to her opinions.
  • Study what makes her tick.
  • Spend time with her, doing what she finds meaningful.
  • Find out what stresses her, and help lighten her load.
  • Speak well of her to your friends, and hers.
  • Be willing to ask forgiveness, sacrifice a little, and extend her some grace.

Think of how you would treat a prize classic car, your high-priced golf clubs, or your valuable home. Think of how a dancer or pairs skater presents his female partner.

Treat your wife like a queen, and she is likely to respond by treating you like a king!

Do you want your wife to want you? Do you want to be irresistible to her?

Work to win her heart. Cherish HER for who she is. You did it once. I bet you can do it again!

And that’s what Paul meant when he said, “Husband, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.” (Eph. 5:25)

Your Turn: Have you found the key to your wife’s heart? Do you know what ignites her desire for you? Leave a comment below.

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