Christmas is a time for giving. If you have a clear idea of what your spouse would love, and it’s within your power to do so, get it/do it for them! But if you’re struggling to think of what you might give your spouse, here are ten Christmas gifts your spouse will love.

If your marriage is struggling, it may seem difficult to imagine giving your spouse something loving and thoughtful. But remember that a gift is not primarily about the person who receives it. A gift, however, says a great deal about the person who offers it.

For some, perhaps you, 2020 has been an extremely difficult year. Health challenges, perhaps financial loss, or other disruption may be greatly altering how you are approaching the Christmas season. It’s always the case but perhaps more so this year than ever; the monetary value or physical nature of a gift is not what matters most. It’s about the love, the generosity, the personal connection the gift signifies and calls someone to.

So here are ten thoughtful Christmas gifts your spouse will love. Choose one or two, or even all ten!

1. A letter of sincere appreciation

Everyone loves to be appreciated. Take some time to list several specific things about your spouse that mean a lot to you. Make it sincere, and personal. Then find a creative way to express that to your spouse; a letter, a notebook with something written on each page, a treasure hunt with notes saying what you love about them. Your spouse is likely to treasure this for years to come.

2. A day trip together

You plan it out. If you have kids, you arrange for them to be cared for. Then spend the day together just the two of you. Depending on where you live it might be horseback riding in the snow, or a day at the beach, or a trip to a national park. You might visit a couple museums, or just start driving somewhere you’ve never been before.

3. A free day alone

This might depend on your spouse’s personality, but a free day alone might be a wonderful gift. Your spouse can use the day any way they wish; shopping, fishing, a visit to a spa (when COVID-19 is over), doing something creative they love, etc. You take the initiative to remove any barriers to a truly free day; household “chores,” childcare, etc.

4. Changing a habit

Now this is getting personal! If you smoke and your spouse hates it, quit. That may be a hugely difficult gift, but do it for them. If you’re struggling with pornography, get Covenant Eyes and also join a group of others waking to freedom. Making the changing of a habit a gift to your spouse will require a lot of you, and it may also add to your motivation to actually do it.

5. Resolving a conflict

The thing you keep fighting about? Give your spouse the gift of dealing with it. If you need some help to do that, make an appointment with a marriage counselor, write it up as an invitation, and put it in a gift envelope for your spouse. If money is the issue, buy Financial Peace University for you to go through as a couple. Or write out an invitation with some specific dates/times when you will commit to being engaged in talking with your spouse in resolving the conflict.

6. An experience

Imagine something that your spouse would love doing, and then make it happen. If it’s family, you arrange a surprise Zoom call with all the extended family. If it’s music, you find the concert (virtual or live) they would love, and get tickets. Or if it’s something outdoors, rent the boat or buy the helicopter trip tickets or schedule a trip to the national or state park.

7. Personalized music playlist

Want to be in your spouse’s ear all the time? Create a playlist of music you know they would love. And you can insert some personalized “I love you” audio clips of yourself! If you have a smartphone or a laptop, you can do this.

8. Photo reminder

Think of one or a few memories that mean something special to your spouse, and have a personalized gift made from the photo(s). Or have their name put on something they will use. That could be a wall picture, a T-shirt, a desk cube, a keychain, a coffee mug; there are countless options to put a picture or name on a product your spouse will use all the time.

9. Personalized Scripture list

You know something of your spouse’s personal challenges. Whatever their stage in their life with God, you can find some Scriptures that would speak encouragement to them. Find five or ten that express something you value about your spouse, or express a promise your spouse would find encouraging, etc. Find or make some creative memes, or format a decorative document with these verses for your spouse.

10. Communication

Talk. There’s little that will open the doors to intimacy more than real communication. It’s also one of the places most couples feel needs to be improved in their relationship. Talk with your spouse and commit to a regular schedule of weekly communication – say every Saturday morning, or an hour Sunday evening in preparing for the week. If you need some help, consider our Guide to Healthy Communication in Marriage.

A tangible gift for your spouse is great. But something thoughtful such as one of these ten items may make an even longer-lasting positive impact on your marriage.

Merry Christmas!

Your Turn: Have you given or received a creative thoughtful gift to or from your spouse in the past? What are you planning to give this year? Leave a comment below.

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