Help Her Feel Like a Woman

Woman SingingDo you wish your lady was more like the one you only dream about? Here are some magical keys that will transform your woman into that amazing creature who will hold your heart captive. And it all starts with understanding what makes her who she is.

Deep in the heart of every woman is the desire to feel cherished, loved, wanted, and beautiful. She longs to be part of an adventure, something bigger than herself. Some part of her wants more. As Vivian tells Edward in Pretty Woman, “I want more. I want the fairy tale!”

As women we can respond to those heart desires wisely or unwisely. Oh, we can’t easily stand back and analyze our hearts logically, and then choose what to do with them. But we know when we feel swept off our feet by a romantic lover. We know when a word, an experience, or a person makes us feel beautiful. We know when the deep strength buried in our soul comes rushing out to protect our own, or to meet a challenge that mere mortals would never dream of facing. That’s what it means to be a woman.

If you’re a guy, this becomes incredibly important information.

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3 Benefits of Being Single

Single Person with CokeNo little girl grows up dreaming of going to bed every night alone, living by herself in an apartment. No little boy grows up dreaming of always washing his own clothes and cooking his own food. Regardless of whatever else we dream about, most of our childhood dreams include getting married and building a family.

Sooner or later that dream is often somewhat spoiled, broken, or misdirected. Parental divorce, domestic violence, addiction, or our own experiences of broken love may cloud the rosy dream of marital bliss. But for most of us even if that dream is buried, it’s still alive.

Then when marriage doesn’t happen it’s easy to become discouraged. Or perhaps marriage ended and you’re single again. You question, is there something wrong with ME? Where have all the good girls (or guys) gone? Am I doomed to be alone forever? Why doesn’t God answer my prayer for a mate?

I was single for 48 years. Then God brought a wonderful man into my life, and we are very happily married. But I know what it’s like to live year after year alone, wondering why it never happened for me. And I know what it’s like to finally completely give up on ever getting married.

Living alone for all those years, I did learn some very important things about the single life.

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Married – and Lonely

Hope SpringsMy heart has been breaking. I’m sure it’s nothing new, but I’m hearing it a lot lately. Middle-aged and older women who are married – and desperately lonely.

It’s certainly not what any woman was looking for on her wedding day. She imagined having someone that would care about her, love her, cherish her “’til death do us part.”

And now for her, life has deteriorated into sharing a coffee pot and a bed (if that) with a stranger.

As a gynecologist I’ve heard these sad comments from women I’ve seen just in the past couple weeks:

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Hot Flashes, Power Surges, Grey Hair – and Wisdom

Hot Flashes, Power Surges, Grey Hair – and Wisdom

Grey Haired WomanI’m getting old!

That’s a very subjective statement. I don’t feel old. And I do subscribe to the adage “You’re only as old as you feel.” So I guess I’m not really old. But passing middle age still feels uncomfortable.

But more than half a century has passed since I first came on the scene. It’s almost certain there are fewer pages left to write than have already been written, at least as far as simple years is concerned. Rather than scheduling vaccinations or PTA meetings, I’m now getting to enjoy grandchildren – and then send them home. Seniority has its benefits!

As a gynecologist I speak with many middle-aged women about very personal things. Passing through the menopause transition is sometimes very emotionally challenging. Although freedom from the risks of pregnancy is usually a welcome change, issues of body image, desirability, mental and physical health, and multiple life pressures are difficult for many of them to manage.

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When Only Tears Will Do

When Only Tears Will Do

Last weekend I was around plenty of tears. This time they were not mine, but those of other women sharing their stories.

I had been invited to be part of a conference on domestic violence, addressing the emotional, physical, legal, and spiritual aspects of this terrible reality. During the final session the participants were invited to say whatever they wished, and they started sharing their stories.

And they cried!

Some of these brave women had experienced physical and sexual child abuse and had grown up to believe that was the only thing they deserved. Some had watched their mothers be abused, had experienced it themselves, and now were struggling with their own children’s experience of trauma. Men were there too, and told of their own victimization.

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