5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married

5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married

Single Happy WomanI had given up on marriage. It just wasn’t for me. It’s not that I didn’t want to be married: I had hoped and prayed for years. I had dated from time to time, but no relationship ever developed that was really serious. By the time I was in my early forties I had come to terms with the fact that I would always be single.

But then, surprise! When I was 48 years old God brought a wonderful man, Al Tanksley, into my life. Neither of us had been looking for a spouse. But he was ready. I was ready. And we got married. It was truly a miraculous God thing! And very worth waiting for.

During my single years I learned a lot. It was that kind of growing up that has allowed me to be so happily married now. Here are a few of those lessons:

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When Arms Are Empty: Infertility

Infertile CoupleMany of us watched this week as Kate Middleton and Prince William left St Mary’s Hospital in London, England, and gave the world its first glimpse of His Royal Highness Prince George, heir to the British throne. There’s something intimate and beautiful about new parents holding their newborn baby in their arms.

But sadly, many couples do not have an opportunity to experience that joy, and do not have a baby to hold in their arms. Over ten percent of couples are unable to achieve a pregnancy within one year of trying. That’s over 7 million couples in this country. And that leads to the sometimes rocky journey of infertility and its treatment.

The miracle of new life still holds many mysteries. But we do know a number of things that must happen, and happen just right. A mature healthy egg must release from a woman’s ovary. Healthy sperm must find its way to the egg. The fertilized embryo must find its way to a healthy uterine landing place, and develop a connection with mother’s blood supply in order to continue to grow. Problems at any point along the way may keep pregnancy from happening.

The more we learn about the miracle of pregnancy and new life, the more amazed I am at how often pregnancy normally does happen. It really IS a miracle.

For couples facing infertility the emotional and relationship cost is high.

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5 Actions to Take With Almost Any Problem

Woman Feeling StressIf it wasn’t one thing it was another. Hot flashes. No sleep. Blood tests showing problems. Both kids recently married, and now having an empty next. Over-the-top work stress. Marriage having some challenges. The very professional woman broke down in tears, hoping for some help from me as her doctor.

Is Linda’s problem medical? Her physical symptoms are very real, and there is a very possible biochemical reason for some of them. There are some medication options that may help. But no pill will fix the stress at her job, or fill her empty nest. And if she was not under this level of stress, the physical symptoms would be much less of an issue.

I explained to Linda how inter-connected a women is in her body, mind, and soul. And we talked through these action steps that I’ll share with you.

When faced with almost any problem, here’s what to do.

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10 Things A Woman Wants and Needs

Woman with ScarfFor husbands, boyfriends, and prospective boyfriends, a woman often presents a mystery. If you’re a guy, you probably would do just about anything to impress your lady love, or win her heart.

But do you know what she really wants?

And if you’re a woman, do you recognize what your heart really wants – and needs?

Sure, we’re all a little different. But in the deep parts of a woman’s soul most of us share these common needs. And yes, they are needs. Inside a woman’s heart is the need:

  1. To be wanted. She wants to be number One to somebody, to know that there’s nothing more important than her in someone else’s heart.
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Should I Use Birth Control? A Christian Doctor’s Answer

Should I Use Birth Control? A Christian Doctor’s Answer

Some wonder if it’s OK to use birth control as a Christian.

When I think of contraception, a number of images come to mind:

  • An 18-year-old girl a few weeks prior to her wedding date asking if birth control pills cause abortion, because she believes abortion is wrong
  • Living just a couple miles from the high school with the highest student pregnancy rate in the state, and seeing those students in my practice
  • A frightening text message from someone close to me telling of his soon-to-be wife’s pulmonary embolus (blood clot to the lungs) soon after starting birth control pills
  • The college student in my exam room wanting a different birth control method that will make next school year “easier”
  • The 25-year-old single mother with three children on public assistance, trying desperately to  just survive

Talking about contraception is often an emotionally charged issue. Most of the heat has little to do with the medical or scientific facts involved. Briefly put, when egg and sperm come together in a woman’s reproductive tract, pregnancy can occur. Interrupt any part of that equation and it won’t occur. Although new life is a mystery, it’s no mystery how pregnancy happens.

But you didn’t read this far to find out about the medical facts of contraception.

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