When Only Tears Will Do

When Only Tears Will Do

Last weekend I was around plenty of tears. This time they were not mine, but those of other women sharing their stories.

I had been invited to be part of a conference on domestic violence, addressing the emotional, physical, legal, and spiritual aspects of this terrible reality. During the final session the participants were invited to say whatever they wished, and they started sharing their stories.

And they cried!

Some of these brave women had experienced physical and sexual child abuse and had grown up to believe that was the only thing they deserved. Some had watched their mothers be abused, had experienced it themselves, and now were struggling with their own children’s experience of trauma. Men were there too, and told of their own victimization.

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A Time for Everything

The Byrds Turn Turn TurnThe Byrds sang it: “A time to every purpose under heaven.”

I wonder how many people who still sing Turn! Turn! Turn! realize that the lyrics were taken essentially word-for-word from the Bible, Ecclesiastes ch. 3. It talks about a truth that those of us who live in this super-charged ultra-fast over-connected society often forget.

As an OB-Gyn physician I rejoice when it’s a time to be born. But I struggle to not feel like a failure when it’s time for one of my patients, or worse yet a close friend or family member, to die.

I find myself looking for the time to laugh and dance. I struggle to embrace the time to weep and mourn.

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[Newsletter] A Streetcar Named Desire

Totally Free Ministries LogoWe need close intimate personal relationships. Our desires are strong, and they incorporate the physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of our being.

Desire is beautiful. Desire is dangerous.

If we ignore our desires, they don’t go away – they get stronger and go underground.

If we give in to our desires indescriminately, the objects of our desires may just end up destroying us.

How can we navigate our human desires and find their true home?

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Red, Yellow, Green: The Relationship Traffic Light

Red, Yellow, Green: The Relationship Traffic Light

When I was in elementary school we sometimes played the game of “Red Light, Green Light.” One of us would be “it,” and call out the signals to the rest of us lined up at the starting line. You could move as fast as you wanted when the “light” was green, but if you took even one step after the “light” turned red you had to return to the starting line and start over. The first one to reach the finish line without moving on red was rewarded with being the next “it.”

I doubt elementary students today play “Red Light, Green Light” during recess any longer. It was a simple game, and with sophisticated playground equipment and sports programs in place now they have more entertaining things to do.

But we as adults still play “Red Light, Green Light” in our relationships. And the stakes are so much higher than they were in childhood!

Think of the other people you know. I would guess you could quite easily tell who is giving out a “green light,” indicating

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I HOPE I’ve Changed!

I HOPE I’ve Changed!

Happy Young WomanChange can feel threatening, especially to those looking on. I’m sure you’ve heard some variety of the saying, “The only thing that never changes is that things will always change.” One of my valued professors said it this way: “You never put your foot in the same river twice.”

Change that happens around us can feel very un-nerving. And change we choose ourselves can be just as uncomfortable. But if we DON’T change, we won’t ever get better results. The anxiety and discomfort we experience as we go through change is temporary, but absolutely necessary. Research actually demonstrates that those who successfully change anything significant in their lives are willing to experience some real anxiety along the way, but keep on going regardless of how uncomfortable they feel.

I’m not the way I used to be. And I’m glad!

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