The One Thing That Will Make You IRRESISTIBLE To Your Wife

The One Thing That Will Make You IRRESISTIBLE To Your Wife

One more night of wishing. One more night of being brushed aside and feeling rejected. One more night of frustration, and wondering if things will ever get any better. One more night of trying to suppress your physical drives. One more night of anger at being misunderstood. One more night of wondering if you made a mistake in getting married.

You don’t want to look outside the marriage for satisfaction, but sometimes you’re not sure how much longer you can put up with things the way they are.

Let me hasten to make clear that your wife is an adult, and she is completely responsible for her behavior. You cannot make choices for her.

But you won her heart once. Wouldn’t you like to do it again? Wouldn’t you like to be her Knight in Shining Armor? Wouldn’t you like for her to look at you the way she did when you first said, “I DO?”

Sure, you want her. You want the physical connection of sex. You want to feel like a man. But you also want more than that.

You want her to want you!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. We women don’t only want you to win our heart once: we want you to keep on winning our heart over and over. We want you to be our hero again and again.

That’s not as hard as it seems. And don’t waste time wondering if it’s fair or unfair: it’s just the way a woman’s heart works.

So how do you make her want you? How do you become irresistible to her?

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How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

Talk to your spouse about sex? Hmmm. Perhaps your response is:

  • “I’m too squeamish to talk about that!”
  • “Any time I try to talk about it we get into a fight.”
  • “If we talk about it, I’ll feel like he’s forcing me to do what I don’t want to do.”
  • “I don’t know how to put into words what I’m feeling.”

Sex can become one of the most contentious and painful aspects of a marriage. Or it can be one of the most affirming and bonding parts of your relationship. One of the best way to move sex from something you avoid to something you anticipate is through talking about it.

Not long ago I asked my husband one of the questions below. His immediate response: “What a wonderful question!” We talked about it, and it was a beautiful moment of emotional closeness between us.

How can you talk about sex with your spouse without either of you becoming angry, frustrated, or feeling put down?

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What To Do When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Don’t

What To Do When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Don’t

They were sitting across the table from me, both hurting badly. Married over twenty years, they really wanted to make things work. Both were practicing Christians, and felt it would be wrong to even consider divorce.

But things were not going well. Among other things, she was struggling with his desire and need for sex about twice a week. She had several other current challenges in her life, and giving sex to her husband seemed like asking something of her that she didn’t have to give. The disconnect in their sexual needs was leading to a lot of resentment between them. Neither wanted to cause the other pain, but they were hurting each other consistently and didn’t know how to stop.

How many marriages have been harmed by this kind of sexual disconnect? Does any of this sound familiar?

  • You avoid your husband as much as you can, hoping he won’t pursue you for sex
  • You give in to sex and end up resenting it, and him
  • You pick a fight with him, hoping that will keep him at bay for a while
  • You go to bed early or stay up late, trying to avoid being nearby at the most likely times for sex
  • You find every excuse to be sick, and you’ve got fifty variations on “I have a headache” to try
  • You fantasize about being single again: at least you wouldn’t feel guilty about saying No
  • You wonder if there’s something really wrong with you, but you’re too tired to find out

As I tell women regularly in my OB-Gyn practice, a woman’s sexual response is very complicated. She has a much harder time compartmentalizing sex than a man does. If other things in her life or relationships are not going well, it may be hard or even impossible to respond sexually.

I’m going to assume for a moment that you have a genuinely good man for a husband, not perfect, but one who truly wants to be good to you. You recognize that sex together as husband and wife is important to him, and you’d like to handle it better. Here are some things you can do if your husband wants sex and you generally don’t.

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10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband

10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband

Looking for a husband? So was I.

And then I gave up. And it’s probably the best thing I ever did.

There’s plenty of advice out there about choosing a husband. There are many lists of things you should look for, and matching services – even Christian ones – promising to help you meet Mr Right.

I’d like to look at it from the other side. Sadly, if you are looking for Mr Right there are a number of married women who would be glad to give him to you! Learning from mistakes others have made may save you a lot of heartache. (And in a moment, I’ll also share two things you SHOULD do.)

Yes, I do know what it’s like to struggle with being single. I was 48 years old before God brought my husband and me together. I know what it’s like to feel lonely, and to long for someone special to love me, and to love. I know the ache of loneliness, and what it’s like to wonder what could be so terribly wrong with me that God has not brought me a husband.

One Valentine’s Day when I was in medical school all of us single girls got together for a meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club. We tried to make each other feel better about not having a boyfriend or husband. It didn’t work very well! Loneliness can be so difficult.

While I was single I made some of these mistakes listed here, and I’ve seen people close to me make others. Whether you’re never married or newly single, here are some things NOT to do in your search for a husband:

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7 Things Healthy Sexuality Is For Married Couples

7 Things Healthy Sexuality Is For Married Couples

Couple on the BeachIf you were from outer space and had a subscription to Direct TV, you would think the only way to have enough interesting sex would be to stay single and look for someone new to hook up with on a regular basis. But reality may not be that way at all. Several studies indicate that on average married people have sex more often, enjoy more varied sex, and are more satisfied with their sex lives than single people. And those with a single sexual partner in the past year report the most happiness in general.

That is not the whole story, of course. Some married couples do fit the stereotype of flannel pajamas and sleeping on separate sides of the bed routinely. Not long ago I saw a patient whose husband spent every evening holed up in the basement watching pornography. “He hasn’t touched me in years,” she said. The pain in her voice was real.

Sex is certainly not the only factor in a successful marriage. For any marriage to work, both husband and wife must be more focused on meeting each other’s needs than getting their own needs met. It takes a lot of forgiveness, flexibility, and unconditional love to make a marriage last.

Nowhere are these characteristics more important than in a couple’s sexual relationship. Here’s what healthy sexuality looks like for a married couple when it’s working well:

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