Doesn’t the Bible say a man is head of his house, and has a right to sex with his wife?”
“During those long months when she was getting chemo other women started to look awfully appealing.”
“My wife and I are Christians, but I can’t seem to get her to agree to have sex with me when I need it.”
You can struggle greatly when your wife does not or cannot respond to you sexually. It’s a little ironic: here I am a woman, talking to men about sex. That’s because I’ve been asked about this specific question more than once, and this post is my answer. You may be struggling with this in your marriage and have told no one. I hope this helps you in some way.
But you also need to hear from other men. Check the bottom of this post: there are a few resources listed there that I believe you will find helpful.
I suspect some men asking this question may be looking for a Biblical excuse to get sex from somewhere outside of your marriage. Sorry: I’m not going to provide one. It isn’t there.
I suspect some other men asking this question may be looking for a Biblical reason to demand that their wife allow sexual intimacy whenever they wish her to. Again, sorry to disappoint you. I don’t find that in Scripture either.
But most men asking this question are truly struggling with the feelings of rejection, frustration, sexual tension, hopelessness, or even anger that come from being sexually unfulfilled in your marriage. You feel “slapped in the face” over and over again, and it reaches to the innermost part of your soul. Part of you wants to honor God, but you find your sexual drives difficult to manage when your wife is unwilling or unable to respond. Engaging in sexual intercourse is a big part of what makes you feel like a man, and right now you don’t feel much like a man at all.