Free From the Gold, the Girls, and the Glory

Free From the Gold, the Girls, and the Glory

Man feeling shameI’m not going to name any names here, but you’ve certainly seen the stories. With painful regularity yet another preacher gets caught in a scandal. Donated funds have been diverted to personal use. An inappropriate sexual relationship is discovered. The “ministry” has become focused on someone’s personality rather than God’s work.

One more of God’s servants has fallen to the lure of the gold, the girls, or the glory.

And God’s enemy rejoices.

When you think about it, it’s a wonder God entrusts any of us human beings to be His messengers. We’ve messed things up ever since the days of Adam and Eve. The fact that the gospel is such an enduring and ever-expanding force in this world is a testament to IT’S power, not to that of the very earthen vessels it’s carried in. (See Rom 1:16, 2 Cor 4:7) As Joyce Meyer has said, we’re nothing but cracked pots!

We all sin. But when a person in Christian leadership breaks trust with a “big sin,” the larger damage to the Kingdom of God is the issue. It’s not that one thing is any harder for God to forgive than another: it’s that the impact on so many others becomes important.

Thank God for those who live with integrity over the long haul. Thank God for those who refuse to do anything that would bring dishonor on His church. Thank God that there are those who demonstrate day after day, year after year, that His grace is sufficient to keep one from falling.

No one can deem themselves automatically immune from the pull of financial gain, sexual indulgence, or worldly fame. There are at least three important things any potential leader must do to move through public life with any integrity.

  1. Live in the Sunlight.
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5 Ways To Keep Your Husband Stuck To You Like Glue

5 Ways To Keep Your Husband Stuck To You Like Glue

(This post is especially for wives. Our previous post was especially for husbands.)

Nothing you can say, Can tear me away, From my guy. Nothing you could do, ‘Cause I’m stuck like glue, To my guy.”

Thank you, Smokey Robinson! Even though it’s been 50 years, you expressed what many women would love to be able to say today.

It’s one thing to be stuck to him. But it’s another thing entirely when he’s stuck to you more like a Post-it note instead of glue. Something, or more likely someone, comes along that feels a little stickier, and he sticks there instead.

Let me hasten to make clear that your husband is an adult, responsible before God for his choices and behavior. You cannot make those decisions for him.

But wouldn’t you like to feel his gaze following you around like when you first met? Wouldn’t you love to know you were the focus of his thoughts every waking minute, and that you were the object of his desire? Wouldn’t you like to know that you are Number One to him all over again?

When I was talking with my husband about writing this post he responded, “A woman has no idea how powerful she is to a man.” You can emasculate your husband by tearing him down, refusing to honor and respect his masculinity, and constantly trying to change him. Or you can be his best asset, helping him be the hero you so want him to be.

Remember, you are not responsible for him. But how you carry yourself can make it a lot easier for him to stick to you like glue! You can be the means God uses to help him be the man God created him to be.

Here are 5 ways you can keep him stuck to you like glue:

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The One Thing That Will Make You IRRESISTIBLE To Your Wife

The One Thing That Will Make You IRRESISTIBLE To Your Wife

One more night of wishing. One more night of being brushed aside and feeling rejected. One more night of frustration, and wondering if things will ever get any better. One more night of trying to suppress your physical drives. One more night of anger at being misunderstood. One more night of wondering if you made a mistake in getting married.

You don’t want to look outside the marriage for satisfaction, but sometimes you’re not sure how much longer you can put up with things the way they are.

Let me hasten to make clear that your wife is an adult, and she is completely responsible for her behavior. You cannot make choices for her.

But you won her heart once. Wouldn’t you like to do it again? Wouldn’t you like to be her Knight in Shining Armor? Wouldn’t you like for her to look at you the way she did when you first said, “I DO?”

Sure, you want her. You want the physical connection of sex. You want to feel like a man. But you also want more than that.

You want her to want you!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. We women don’t only want you to win our heart once: we want you to keep on winning our heart over and over. We want you to be our hero again and again.

That’s not as hard as it seems. And don’t waste time wondering if it’s fair or unfair: it’s just the way a woman’s heart works.

So how do you make her want you? How do you become irresistible to her?

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How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

Talk to your spouse about sex? Hmmm. Perhaps your response is:

  • “I’m too squeamish to talk about that!”
  • “Any time I try to talk about it we get into a fight.”
  • “If we talk about it, I’ll feel like he’s forcing me to do what I don’t want to do.”
  • “I don’t know how to put into words what I’m feeling.”

Sex can become one of the most contentious and painful aspects of a marriage. Or it can be one of the most affirming and bonding parts of your relationship. One of the best way to move sex from something you avoid to something you anticipate is through talking about it.

Not long ago I asked my husband one of the questions below. His immediate response: “What a wonderful question!” We talked about it, and it was a beautiful moment of emotional closeness between us.

How can you talk about sex with your spouse without either of you becoming angry, frustrated, or feeling put down?

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What To Do When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Don’t

What To Do When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Don’t

They were sitting across the table from me, both hurting badly. Married over twenty years, they really wanted to make things work. Both were practicing Christians, and felt it would be wrong to even consider divorce.

But things were not going well. Among other things, she was struggling with his desire and need for sex about twice a week. She had several other current challenges in her life, and giving sex to her husband seemed like asking something of her that she didn’t have to give. The disconnect in their sexual needs was leading to a lot of resentment between them. Neither wanted to cause the other pain, but they were hurting each other consistently and didn’t know how to stop.

How many marriages have been harmed by this kind of sexual disconnect? Does any of this sound familiar?

  • You avoid your husband as much as you can, hoping he won’t pursue you for sex
  • You give in to sex and end up resenting it, and him
  • You pick a fight with him, hoping that will keep him at bay for a while
  • You go to bed early or stay up late, trying to avoid being nearby at the most likely times for sex
  • You find every excuse to be sick, and you’ve got fifty variations on “I have a headache” to try
  • You fantasize about being single again: at least you wouldn’t feel guilty about saying No
  • You wonder if there’s something really wrong with you, but you’re too tired to find out

As I tell women regularly in my OB-Gyn practice, a woman’s sexual response is very complicated. She has a much harder time compartmentalizing sex than a man does. If other things in her life or relationships are not going well, it may be hard or even impossible to respond sexually.

I’m going to assume for a moment that you have a genuinely good man for a husband, not perfect, but one who truly wants to be good to you. You recognize that sex together as husband and wife is important to him, and you’d like to handle it better. Here are some things you can do if your husband wants sex and you generally don’t.

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