Bedroom conflict is at it again. Husband wants sex with wife and she doesn’t want to give it. Wife wants husband to show interest in intimacy with her but he doesn’t. Both men and women feel lonely, unwanted, frustrated, and sometimes desperate and angry. It leaves some wondering, “Could I have married the wrong person?”
And then there are plenty of women who wish their husbands would just leave them alone. Perhaps sex is physically uncomfortable. Maybe it takes too much energy and you’re tired. You might not feel close to him at all right now, or even like him very much. Sex may bring up unpleasant or painful emotional feelings, perhaps from the past. Or maybe you feel like his request or “need” for sex in an intrusion into the life you really wish you could have.
A woman’s sexual response can be affected by many different things. If sex causes physical pain her brain will naturally try to avoid it and she will find it difficult to respond sexually. Unwanted memories may intrude and prevent her body and mind from responding. Busy-ness, worry, fatigue, or fear will shut her down. A woman usually responds best when she feels safe, close, and connected. For women, sex is a great deal more in the mind than anywhere else.
So how’s a woman to go about making this part of her marriage pleasant, or even enjoyable?