How I Got My Husband to Change

How I Got My Husband to Change

Thumps UpWarning: reading this post may create illusions of power and seasons of marital amazement.

Yes, I got my husband to change. When we first met Al was a smoker, and had been for 45 years. He was seriously overweight, and had been much of his life. He ate – and loved – the typical unhealthy American diet. He drank nothing but Coke and diet orange soda, and rarely ate fruits and vegetables. He was on a number of medications, and was frequently ill.

Today things are completely different. He hasn’t smoked since we got married: that was a huge accomplishment, and made a big difference in his health right away. Now he drinks water most of the time, and has a Coke perhaps every 3 months. I can’t remember when he last ate processed meat, and he greatly misses his fruits and vegetables if we don’t have them. He’s lost 65 pounds, and is off a number of his medications. He feels like he is healthy enough to stick around for a while now!

How did I get him to change? (Hint: this is where the illusions of power come!)

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7 Conversation Starters with your Spouse

7 Conversation Starters with your Spouse

You know you need to talk, but some conversation starters with your spouse would help.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Yes, that’s the secret of a great relationship. You probably don’t need to be told how important it is. But although good communication between husband and wife is so important, it may not seem easy to do.

“But I have nothing to say. What do we talk about?”

That’s why you’re reading this! Some people find conversation much easier than others, and that’s a big part of communication. Classically, women are more verbal than men. For my husband Al and me, I’m usually the one who needs to be prodded to communicate. He is very good at encouraging me to talk about things. (So men, it can be done!)

If things tend to be somewhat silent between you, here are some conversation starters with your spouse. Share a bit of yourself, then be quiet and ask your partner to share something. You can talk about:

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Hearing God’s Voice

Hearing God’s Voice

God speaks to us, and we can hear Him.

Is that really true? How can we know it’s Him? What does that look like?

We could get very theological here, spiritualizing away things God intended to be very practical, but we won’t. Simply speaking, Scripture makes it clear that God does speak to us in various ways. That in itself is a pretty amazing thought: the God who can create the world with His Word also speaks to you and me!

But we humans can easily get confused. Hearing God’s voice can seem difficult, mystical, or weird. If you’ve been around church at all you’ve certainly heard people say, “God told me …..” Or perhaps you believed God spoke something to you, and then later wondered if it was really Him, your imagination, or something else.

I’ve certainly been there. I’ve had many people say to me, “God told me to tell you …..”

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Marriage in a Pressure Cooker

Couple Facing ApartMarriage is under assault. And as in any conflict, knowing where your enemy will attack dramatically increases your chance of successfully withstanding that assault.

Yes, the institution of marriage is being challenged, but that’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m talking about YOUR marriage. And most of the “enemies” your marriage faces are very close to home. It’s possible to be so concerned with assaults from “out there” that we overlook the very real things that can weaken our marriage from the inside.

Check these seven points of vulnerability, and see how your marriage scores:

  1. Greener Pastures. At some point something or someone “outside” will seem attractive. And if you’re not careful, seeds of doubt about your own marriage can creep into your thoughts. “What if?” becomes “why not?” (You don’t want to go there!)
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5 Reasons I’m Proud of My Husband

5 Reasons I’m Proud of My Husband

Most people thrive on being appreciated, understood, loved, and respected. When the person who knows you best also thinks highly of you, it fills your heart like little else can. Letting him or her know how proud you are of them is like supercharging their batteries. I’m proud of my husband, and that makes a difference.

“But what if my husband (or wife) hasn’t done anything I can be proud of?”

If you are not used to praising your spouse, it may seem difficult to find honest reasons to praise him or her. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t there!

My husband Al has had some health challenges. As a result he has not been able to do some of the things he so badly would like to do.

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