5 Ways To Be A Woman Nobody Can Live With

5 Ways To Be A Woman Nobody Can Live With

Unhappy WomanI know two women quite well who nobody can live with – at least not and stay sane. You probably know one or more also. I just hope you aren’t trying to live with one!

This kind of woman may be very accomplished in many ways. People sometimes envy her while looking at her from a distance, and marvel at how much she seems to be in charge. At times she may sound very spiritual and mature, but underneath the surface she is selfish and childish.

And the worst comes if you try to get too close. Husbands, employees, colleagues, children, close friends – anyone who spends a lot of time around her soon realizes her outward sparkle is only sparks from a fire that will burn you if you try to touch her too closely.

Such a woman tries to demand relationship from people around her, but inside she is truly lonely. Children may leave as soon as they are able. Her husband may leave if he doesn’t have the determination to stay married regardless of what happens. Employees will pretend loyalty, but will leave when they get the chance. Colleagues will only put up with her so long, and will look for an excuse to connect with someone else. Close friends won’t often stick around very long.

If you want to be a woman nobody can live with, here’s how:

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21 Things to Do Together As a Married Couple

21 Things to Do Together As a Married Couple

When you were dating, you probably had no difficulty coming up with interesting things to do with your sweetheart. You looked forward to spending every possible moment together.

Now that you’ve been married for a few, or many, years, the newness has worn off and you probably spend more time thinking about work, budgets, kids, schedules, and just getting through the day. You know date night is important, but it doesn’t happen often enough. You’re too tired to think of something new to do as a married couple.

It’s not that following a tradition is bad: going to the same place or doing the same activity together may make you feel secure and comfortable. But it’s important to spice things up from time to time.

Here are some things to consider doing together that can give you an opportunity to learn, stretch yourselves, and have fun:

  1. Try a different restaurant. Try a different national cuisine. Drive a few miles to try a small-town diner, or a unique coffee house.
  2. Go through old family pictures. Pictures can tell stories. Use those pictures to tell each other about the years before you met, or remember some of your early days together.
  3. Take a class together. Learn a foreign language, learn how to sail, learn about astronomy, local geology, or natural gardening together.
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Surviving the Family Drama at the Holidays

Christmas is a time when even normal families can feel extra stress. And what if yours is not a so-called “normal” family? What if you and your ex are fighting over who gets the kids, and when? What if both sets of in-laws expect you to spend the holidays with them this year? What if several generations in your family have very different needs during this holiday season?

The fact is, your family is probably far from perfect. Unless you’re one of the mythical Cleavers, Christmas probably won’t turn out exactly the way you might wish. Some people in your family may end up being very unhappy, perhaps with you. You may have to spend time around people you don’t like at all. Your efforts to try and make everything wonderful may fall flat, or even lead to more misunderstanding.

So here’s the important tip. …

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10 Things I Learned in 5 Years of Marriage

10 Things I Learned in 5 Years of Marriage

Couple Holding HandsMy husband Al and I recently celebrated our five-year anniversary. It’s been a wonderful five years, and I would say “I do” all over again knowing everything I know now. God has blessed us with a very happy relationship.

But that doesn’t mean these past five years have been trouble-free. And it’s some of those challenges that have led to the closeness we increasingly share.

Here are some things I have learned during these five years, some of them expected and some unexpected:

  1. Love that survives challenges leads to security. My husband really loves me! I have never questioned his love. But going through the ups and downs of life together has brought me to a level of security in his love even beyond what I could have expected. (I think God’s love is like that too!)
  2. Your spouse will only change what they want to change. My husband has made some amazing changes: quitting smoking, losing weight, and more. But salt still finds its way to the floor at dinnertime, and he still doesn’t like to go to bed early. (I’m glad the changes he’s made are the important ones.)
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When to NOT Discuss Things With Your Spouse

Unhappy CoupleYou are supposed to communicate together as husband and wife. And that’s a good thing. But there is a difference between communicating and dumping.

The purpose of communication is understanding, connection, and intimacy. (It’s been said that the organ of intimacy is the ear!) Hiding thoughts, fears, hopes, memories, problems, or anything else from your spouse builds a wall between you that can be difficult to tear down.

However, some women (and a few men) use the principle of communication to unload on their spouse. They use their spouse as a dumping ground for every thought and feeling that comes along. That may place a burden on your spouse that is not their place to carry.

Your spouse is not your pastor, your therapist, your 12-step sponsor, or your doctor. God often uses marriage partners to bring much healing to one another, but it’s not your spouse’s primary responsibility to fix you. Expecting them to do so is a form of manipulation and control.

And that drives people apart.

Here’s what the difference looks like:

Communication lets your spouse see and touch the difficult things in your heart. Dumping tries to force your spouse to carry what is yours to own.

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