Human beings love to be in control. But in marriage, when one person tries to control another true intimacy is impossible. You know that’s true if your spouse is the control freak. But what can you control in your marriage?
Jesus had a wonderful way of asking questions. You may know the story well. Jesus sees a man lying on his mat, having been in that state for 38 years. And Jesus asks Him, “Do you want to be made whole?” (John 5:6) What does it mean to “be made whole”? What does wholeness look like?
We all know a control freak – that person who has to micromanage everyone and everything around them. Such a person can learn healthy skills and become an excellent leader. But living with such a person is likely much more challenging. How do you deal with the control freak in your marriage?
Remarriage after divorce is one of those topics that can make otherwise “good” Christians become prickly, self-righteous, or downright vindictive. And if you’re remarried or contemplating remarriage, the religious messages in church, or from so-called Christians on social media, can threaten to drown you with confusion and shame. I faced those questions when I decided to marry a divorced man.
While learning to love well is a life-long process, loving well was something I was privileged to deeply experience with my husband. Though by no means perfect, God blessed me with a very loving marriage. That could never have happened unless I learned to love well.