The purpose of communication is understanding, connection, and intimacy. (It’s been said that the organ of intimacy is the ear!) Hiding thoughts, fears, hopes, memories, problems, or anything else from your spouse builds a wall between you that can be difficult to tear down.
However, some women (and a few men) use the principle of communication to unload on their spouse. They use their spouse as a dumping ground for every thought and feeling that comes along. That may place a burden on your spouse that is not their place to carry.
Your spouse is not your pastor, your therapist, your 12-step sponsor, or your doctor. God often uses marriage partners to bring much healing to one another, but it’s not your spouse’s primary responsibility to fix you. Expecting them to do so is a form of manipulation and control.
And that drives people apart.
Here’s what the difference looks like: