How Changing Your Past Can Change Your Future

How Changing Your Past Can Change Your Future

A wise mentor once told me, “You can never step into the same river twice.” Life happens. You can’t recreate exactly the same good moments, or go back and undo your bad decisions. But since then I’ve learned there’s a way you can change your past – not the facts, but their meaning and their impact on you. And changing your past can change your future.

Continue reading...
Quit Looking Back; Transformation is Ahead

Quit Looking Back; Transformation is Ahead

Nobody gets through life without a past. Everyone God has used, is using now, or will use has a past. You can choose whether to allow the baggage you carry to derail or delay your transformation, or to let it become fuel God uses in that very process. So how do you get past your past? How do you quit looking back so you can experience transformation up ahead?

Continue reading...
Responding to #MeToo with More than a Hashtag

Responding to #MeToo with More than a Hashtag

Gretchen Carlson. Alyssa Milano. Angelina Jolie. Katie Couric. Lady Gaga. Beth Moore. Kay Warren. Thousands of women from every walk of life have responded #MeToo, identifying their sad and painful history of sexual harassment, sexual trauma, sexual violation. The use and abuse of women is not a new problem, and being a Christian is no protection. #MeToo is more than a hashtag; it’s about real people.

Women have in many ways born more than their fair share of trauma and violation ever since Eve listened to the serpent. Perhaps that’s because the enemy knew then, and knows now, that it was through a woman that the Savior would come. And it is through women today that God is bringing and nurturing new life in every corner of God’s world. We’re not talking about simply babies, but life in every sense of the word. Life in the Spirit. Fully Alive.

The current groundswell of #MeToo raises questions about healthy marriage, or any healthy relationships between men and women. Are there any? Are men just raw brutes, and women’s only recourse is to get nasty? Can godly marriages function where so much trauma, violation, and depravity thrive? Are the millions of #MeToo women ever to be free from the wounds caused by such violation?

Yes, it is possible. But only by the grace of God.

Jesus offers redemption to all – to the woman wounded and violated and feeling unprotected, to the man immobilized by fear as a result of #MeToo culture, to the woman locked inside a hard shell of violent feminism as a response, to the man broken and ashamed after being a vehicle of intimidation or violation.

Here are a few things to understand and ways to respond as Christians who believe in redemption and marriage even in a #MeToo culture.

Continue reading...
Your Spouse’s Bad Behavior: 5 Things to Do

Your Spouse’s Bad Behavior: 5 Things to Do

Your spouse’s bad behavior can make your life seem as though it’s falling apart. Your psyche is stretched to the limit, and you’re not sure how much longer you can survive if things don’t change. You could really use some concrete ways to move forward, or at least a clear way to think about things.

I hear from spouses every day:

  • “My husband refuses to get help for his gambling and substance abuse. He won’t even acknowledge he has a problem.”
  • “My wife is only after me for my money and spends irresponsibly. She refuses to engage in intimacy or conversation.”
  • “My husband has had a mistress for several years. He keeps promising to cut things off with her, but he’s back with her again.”
  • “I’m always walking on eggshells around my husband. I never know what will cause him to fly into a rage. I live in fear.”

You’ve tried to change your spouse – unsuccessfully. You’ve threatened, cried, put up with, tried to let it go, ignored, waited, and anything else you can think of. Perhaps you’ve tried to get professional help and read anything you can find on the subject. You’ve prayed and prayed, and things are still the same. Am I stuck with this miserable marriage forever? Is this “bad enough” for a divorce? Why doesn’t God fix my marriage when I keep asking Him to?

If you want the same results, keep doing the same thing. If you don’t, it’s time for a change. Time for YOU to change.

Feeling emotional, powerless, and desperate is understandable. But decisions made from that mindset almost never result in a good outcome.

No marriage is perfect. You and your spouse are both sinners. However, thoughtfully working through the following 5 areas will provide a framework for you to move forward.

Continue reading...