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Intimacy is about YOU TWO, Not Performance

By the time they come to see me most couples are frustrated, disappointed, anxious, and tired. And tired of always having to perform in the bedroom.
And of course that’s not what sex is about. Or at least shouldn’t be about.

Happy Anniversary! Five Steps to a Happy Marriage

First a disclaimer: I’m not sure there are ANY five steps that guarantee happiness in any area of life, let alone something as long-term and complicated as marriage. But I DO know that there are some things that can make or break the union of two people.
Four years ago today (as I write this) I married Al Tanksley, and I’m more in love now than on the day I said, “I do!”
Here are a few things I believe have made a critical difference in our marriage,

Married – and Lonely

My heart has been breaking. I’m sure it’s nothing new, but I’m hearing it a lot lately. Middle-aged and older women who are married – and desperately lonely.
As a gynecologist I’ve heard these sad comments from women I’ve seen just in the past couple weeks.
Don’t let that happen to you! Here are a few suggestions:

Five Daily Choices in your Relationship

Let’s be honest – sometimes we just don’t feel like it. We don’t feel like being kind, or loving, or healthy, or spiritual, or much of anything else. Sometimes it feels easier to just snap! Or pout. Or go away somewhere.
Yes, there are times we all feel like binging on self-pity, or anger, or negativity.
But even though we may feel like acting badly, we have a choice. And that is never truer than in our closest relationships. In spite of our anxiety, fatigue, and legitimate needs, we can CHOOSE to act in ways that foster a healthy, strong marriage, rather than tearing the relationship apart. And choosing to act in these ways most of the time really DOES increase the likelihood our needs will be met.

Chocolate covered strawberries

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Love, romance, and Valentine’s Day.  Perhaps you are like many others, making the sellers of heart-shaped baloons, teddy bears, flowers, cards,…

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