5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

Feeling UpsetInto every life some difficult people must come. These are the people who make you feel small, stupid, and powerless. They’re the ones you assume you should have a relationship with, but you cringe every time you come in contact, or communicate with them. Somehow they have a way of making you feel like YOU are the crazy one. But somehow you still have to deal with difficult people.

Your difficult person might be your boss, your coworker, a sibling, an in-law, or even a parent. It might be a friend or classmate you developed a connection with before realizing how difficult the relationship would become. Whoever it is, they feel like a thorn in your side and you wish they would just go away.

A difficult person is not simply someone who needs your help. Here are some characteristics of a truly difficult person:

  • Refuses to take responsibility for their own life, feelings, and behavior
  • Turns simple challenges into major drama
  • Continually expects you to rescue them from their own problems
  • Makes you feel guilty if you don’t do what they demand
  • Blames you for any problems in the relationship, while demanding you stay connected
  • Responds to any help you provide with a demand for more, even if they voice appreciation at first
  • Has an answer for everything, and makes sure you realize that you don’t
  • Makes you feel confused, anxious, or “crazy” after interacting with them

Continue reading...
To the Lonely, Disappointed Wife

To the Lonely, Disappointed Wife

When you first got married you imagined every day would be wonderful. Someone would be there to do much of the “heavy lifting” necessary in life. You would have someone to talk to whenever you wanted, someone who would understand you. You felt rescued, safe, and fully alive. Marriage would mean there would be someone eager to spend time with you at the end of every day. And you’d never go to sleep lonely.

Do you remember feeling like that, even if it was only briefly? Oh, you heard the warnings from those who were “older and wiser.” Sort of. You acknowledged that many marriages encounter problems.

“But MY marriage will be different!” you thought, perhaps not even realizing you were saying it. “MY husband will always love me and be there for me. If we have any problems we’ll get over them in a flash. I’ll be happy for the rest of my life!”

How long ago was that?

And how close has married life been to what you imagined it would be?

If you’re like so many married women, you feel like YOU are doing much of the heavy lifting. You don’t feel like your husband understands you at all. And many nights you go to sleep feeling painfully lonely. You’re a disappointed wife.

It’s probably a good thing that people get married with stars in their eyes. If everyone truly believed how many problems would come after the “I Do’s” the world might not have such a population problem.

So what do you do when you feel used up, disappointed, and lonely?

Continue reading...
2 Attitudes About People That Will Make You Miserable

2 Attitudes About People That Will Make You Miserable

People I Can't Stand!

Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts, Nov 12, 1959

In a classic Peanuts cartoon Linus wants to be a doctor. The always negative Lucy says he could never be a doctor because he doesn’t love mankind.

“I love mankind,” Linus retorts. “It’s PEOPLE I can’t stand!”

Do you ever feel like Linus? Having good relationships with people may seem like a nice idea, but sometimes you just can’t stand them.

Like them or lump them, you can’t get away from people. Learning how to deal with people may be one of the most important things affecting your quality of life.

We have a lot more control over the quality of our relationships than we may think. Whether you’re a social butterfly or hardly ever speak a word to another human being, your life involves people. And if you don’t get this part of your lifestyle right, you’re doomed to be forever miserable.

In all your relationships there are two bad attitudes about people that are guaranteed to make you miserable and unhappy. Here they are.

Continue reading...
10 Things God Has Put You In Charge Of

10 Things God Has Put You In Charge Of

Try to take charge of what is in God’s hands, and you will become frustrated and anxious. Neglect to take charge of things God has placed in YOUR hands, and you will become depressed.

I’ve gotten confused over the difference many times, and perhaps you have too. Understanding the difference can change everything about your happiness, peace, and success in this world, your relationship with God, and more.

If you need to lose weight, God won’t take the fork out of your hand. If you need to get out of debt, He won’t make your credit cards evaporate. If you need to spend time with your family, He won’t “beam you up” to be with them. There are things that are totally up to you!

The first thing to learn: He’s God, and I’m Not!   (Tweet that)

That foundation is pretty powerful. Your eternal salvation, the running of the universe, the future, your past – God has made provision to deal with all of that. And He has promised to be with you every day, in every small and large aspect of your life, today and forever. (Mat 28:20)

Once you know that, here’s the second thing to learn: Under God, It’s Up To ME!   (Tweet that)

He has given you executive authority over your life and a significant part of His kingdom. He created mankind to govern. (Gen 1:26) He calls us kings and priests, under the supreme King and Priest, Christ Jesus. (Rev 1:6) God expects you to govern the part of His Kingdom that He has put within your care, and He has fitted you to do so.

How freeing it is when you own that idea! You get to decide, under God, so much more than you realize. You get to experience the fulfillment of wrestling with the decisions, and seeing the fruit of your labor. You can’t control everything, but your choices DO have consequences. Big ones.

Here are some things God has put you in charge of:

Continue reading...
How To Deal With Difficult People

How To Deal With Difficult People

Some people are impossibly difficult. At least for you. You can’t stand being around them. Every time you have to deal with them, you have a bad day.

If you’re a Christian, you may wonder what’s wrong with your spirituality when trying to deal with someone you can’t stand. Aren’t you supposed to love them? Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

How about some of these types:

  • Your brother-in-law is always asking you for money, or trying to get you involved in a questionable investment scheme.
  • Your neighbor two doors down consistently points out how much more successful her children are than yours are every time you see her.
  • Your former college roommate has a way of making you feel small and insignificant whenever you get together.
  • Your team leader is consistently inconsistent in what he expects from you, and frequently criticizes you and others in front of the entire team.

Difficult people aren’t just people who are different from you, or don’t happen to like you. They are people who thwart you, bring you down, distract you, and try to impede you on your path toward what God wants you to do.

Continue reading...