If you’ve been mowing the weeds of troubling, unwanted, or ungodly sexual thoughts or behaviors and they keep growing back, it’s time to deal with the roots. “Trying harder” to control lust with behavior modification and accountability may be helpful as far as it goes. But for many people, it’s just not working. You may need to deal much more deeply with the roots of sexual “stuff.”
It’s a problem. And maybe it’s a problem for you. Struggling with sexual stuff is hard. This topic cuts so close to the core of who we are, which is the way God made us. But the struggles are painful, and often heaped with shame and guilt.
What if you received Christ’s forgiveness, and then never committed a sin ever again? Suppose you never killed anyone, looked at pornography, told a lie, smoked a cigarette, or even so much as exceeded the speed limit for the rest of your life. Would that be enough? Would you be happy? Would God be pleased? I don’t think so. Working hard trying to change your behavior doesn’t work.
Freedom is a metaphor used too often in Scripture for us to ignore. It’s not the only Biblical picture of what God does for us, but it helps us understand a great deal about redemption. There are a lot of ditches to be avoided when we talk about spiritual warfare. But the Bible has many examples and descriptions that help you understand more about working together with God for your freedom.
If the gospel is good for anything it must have an answer to the worst problems humans face. As believers we know that intellectually, but the body of Christ frequently hides from some of the really bad stuff. Pornography and your Christian marriage may seem like things that should not be said in the same sentence. But in 21st century culture it’s something we must acknowledge, and find God’s answer for.
I hear from people every week who struggle with this. I hear from the small-church pastor who feels he has no one to help him out of his addiction to pornography, the godly wife who just found out her husband has been watching porn for years, the young Christian woman who weeps in shame over her continued failure to stop engaging in internet pornography.
Although statistically more men than women get hooked by sexually-charged images and videos, pornography is an equal-opportunity destroyer. Men and women, married and single, Christian and unbeliever, young and old – it affects them all. Our sexualized society spends multi-billions of dollars on this. It starts young; your ten-year-old (or younger) can watch it on their cell-phone while riding the bus to school. (That’s a whole article – or book – in itself!)
Dr Juli Slattery, psychologist, author, and media professional, has stated that she no longer asks couples whether pornography is an issue for them; she asks what role pornography is playing in their relationship.
So what is a Christian to do? Refusing to address pornography is putting your head in the sand, especially if you’re married or contemplating marriage. But as with all human brokenness God has an answer – if you’re addicted, if your spouse is addicted, or if you want to proactively protect your marriage.
