A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. But when you’ve hurt your spouse it may take a lot more than “I’m sorry” to repair your relationship. And most of that is on you.
Your spouse is messing up BAD. He/she is having an affair, getting drunk, hiding out-of-control spending, using pornography, or engaging in some other destructive behavior. Some of the tapes in your head, and perhaps Christian friends who know, may be saying, “Forgive them. Let the past be the past, and move on.” But there are some things forgiveness does not do for your marriage. There’s more that’s needed.
The different world we are living in today places more pressure on everyone, and on your marriage. Like a tube of toothpaste, pressure forces what’s really inside to leak out. I hope you and your spouse have joined forces and rallied to meet this stressful time together. Or perhaps lockdown has hurt your marriage in some unexpected ways.
Stress can make people prickly. Crisis can uncover both the worst and the best in people. You need some grace, and your spouse needs some grace too. Communication becomes even more important during difficult times. Here are some things your spouse needs to hear you say right now.
Micromanaging, criticizing, and fault-finding are toxic to a relationship. But problems don’t go away by ignoring them. What do you do when your spouse is doing truly hurtful things? Can you confront your spouse in their bad behavior without destroying your relationship?
