The Fragility of Trust

The Fragility of Trust

Trust takes a long time to build. And it can be lost in a moment. The fragility of trust is amazing.

Sitting in the airport not long ago, I couldn’t help overhearing one side of a phone conversation. A tall, good-looking man, about 30, was on his cell-phone – sobbing. He seemed oblivious to the crowd around him, and made no effort to keep others from hearing his conversation. He was obviously speaking with the lady in his life, pleading with her to “work things out.” The pain in his voice and his shameless tears almost made those of us nearby uncomfortable: we were witnessing a young man in real torment.

Trying to piece things together, this young man was apparently in the middle of a business trip. In the past he had done something to break trust with his wife, perhaps an affair, or drinking too much. While on this trip something had happened to re-open that old wound – perhaps he had not “checked in” at the expected time. She was angry. He was hurt. Each was accusing the other. It was tragic, and incredibly painful.

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4 Ways to make Comings and Goings Count

Couple Saying GoodbyeEven if we wanted to, two people can’t be together 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And some say that bits of time apart are healthy.

Those times apart may mean working during the day. It may mean separate work shifts, or one may work while the other takes care of things at home. There may be travel, separate hobbies or activities, different friends. Without great care, too much time apart can erode the connections between husband and wife.

Regardless of how much time you spend together, the moments when you go apart and the moments when you come together again are especially important. How you handle those moments can do much to keep you strongly connected. Don’t waste them!

When I come home from a shift at the hospital I know what will be waiting for me:

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The Benefits of Healthy Investments

Cash IncreasingInvestments come in all varieties. Financial, yes, but so much more. Little things you do today make a much bigger difference in your tomorrows.

Small seeds grow into big trees. Small habits form character traits. A small stream can carve a deep valley. Small deposits can grow into a significant fortune.

We look at the nobel-prize-winning scientist, the Olympic medalist, the concert musician and think, “I wish I could do that!” We marvel at the accomplishments of well-known authors, thinkers, politicians, preachers, sports figures, artists, or entrepreneurs. But we usually only see the end result, not the investment of blood, sweat, and tears day after day, year after year.

Sure, there is the occasional child wonder, the occasional lottery winner, the occasional “big break.”

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Doctor, Doctor: Your Family of Origin

Three GenerationsYou can’t choose your parents. Or your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. If your family of origin was reasonably healthy you probably don’t think much about how you choose to relate to them. You look forward to family gatherings, and keep in touch between times together.

There is always some tension as young people grow up and leave home, but healthy families celebrate such transitions. While still connected, junior develops a life of his or her own. And you’re at least somewhat proud of your parents and the legacy they left you.

But not all families are so healthy. It seems some significant measure of dysfunction is the norm in most families. Volumes have been written on the topic, and the mental health field has provided numerous careers devoted to helping those from unhealthy families learn to function better now.

Growing up in a home with alcohol, drug use, rage, criminal behavior, or violence leaves permanent marks on your soul.

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A Baby: God’s Opinion That the World Should Go On

Baby SleepingAs an OB-Gyn physician I’ve seen it many many times. A brand new baby comes into the world, takes that first cry, and begins the long journey of life with its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, and more than a little uncertainty.

But today you’ll have to excuse a few of my personal musings. This morning the youngest grandchild in our family entered the world much earlier than planned, but alive and well. She has her mother’s checks, and all ten fingers and ten toes. Mommy and daddy are already exhausted, but thrilled that Madelyn is here. And Poppa and Grandma Carol are proud!

If you are a parent or grandparent perhaps you can remember the soft feel of a baby’s skin, their unique smell, the silkiness of their baby hair, the feel of tiny fingers wrapping around your finger – and your heart.

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