10 Things You Can (and Can’t) Expect In A Good Marriage

10 Things You Can (and Can’t) Expect In A Good Marriage

With all the destructive marriages out there, is it any wonder that some young people are having second thoughts about getting married at all? Is “happily ever after” ever possible? Is “happily married” just a cruel joke? What CAN you expect in a “good” marriage?

Many things go into the success (or lack thereof) of a marriage: communication, compatibility, expectations, outside support, commitment, and more.

I think it’s enlightening to hear couples who have been successfully married for several decades talk about things such as how they handle conflict, how they care for each other, and the willingness to persevere even if things become difficult. Without fail, such couples display a deep commitment and willingness to care for each other.

But what can you reasonably expect in a “happy” marriage? How do you know when you have one?

First, here are 7 things you CANNOT expect:

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2 Attitudes About People That Will Make You Miserable

2 Attitudes About People That Will Make You Miserable

People I Can't Stand!

Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts, Nov 12, 1959

In a classic Peanuts cartoon Linus wants to be a doctor. The always negative Lucy says he could never be a doctor because he doesn’t love mankind.

“I love mankind,” Linus retorts. “It’s PEOPLE I can’t stand!”

Do you ever feel like Linus? Having good relationships with people may seem like a nice idea, but sometimes you just can’t stand them.

Like them or lump them, you can’t get away from people. Learning how to deal with people may be one of the most important things affecting your quality of life.

We have a lot more control over the quality of our relationships than we may think. Whether you’re a social butterfly or hardly ever speak a word to another human being, your life involves people. And if you don’t get this part of your lifestyle right, you’re doomed to be forever miserable.

In all your relationships there are two bad attitudes about people that are guaranteed to make you miserable and unhappy. Here they are.

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Why You Should Want To Go To Heaven

Why You Should Want To Go To Heaven

Do you really want to go to heaven? Really?

Or are you hoping Jesus won’t come back for a while? After all, there are things you want to do, experiences you want to enjoy, challenges you want to win, places you want to see.

This world, with all its problems and opportunities, is so real. And heaven seems so, well, unreal.

If you’re dying of Ebola in Liberia, you probably want to go to heaven. If you’re six-year-old Jenny running from her crazed father (remember Forrest Gump?), you want to go to heaven. If you’re sick and tired and old and sad, you may well want to go to heaven.

But for many of the rest of us, even those who believe in heaven, we may not really be that sure we’d be happier in heaven than we are here. Intellectually we may say we believe heaven will be happy. But when it comes right down to it, do you sometimes feel like you would miss a lot if you went to heaven right now?

Even the Apostle Paul struggled a little with weather he wanted to go to heaven or stay here and do more of what God had given him to do: “If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” (Phil. 1:22-24)

It’s human nature to prefer a difficult known to even a hopefully perfect unknown. But as Corrie ten Boom said, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God!”

To help put some “skin” on the future God has prepared for those who love Him, here are some things we can be certain of about heaven:

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What To Do When EVERYTHING Is Going Wrong

Bad DayYou’re resilient. You’ve met problems before, and you know how to push through when things get difficult. You’re a “can-do” kind of person, and it’s not your nature to let obstacles stop you.

But sometimes even the strongest of us can get overwhelmed. When problems come at you from all directions at once your normal coping mechanisms can become stretched terribly thin.

Have you ever had times when all of these things happen at once?

  • A source of money suddenly dries up
  • A family member becomes ill
  • Technical problems threaten to undo months of work
  • It takes ten times as long (weeks) to complete an important task that should be relatively easy (few days)
  • Emotional pressure seems to stall clear thinking

There are times when it seems nothing else can go wrong.

Until it does!

You know how characters in crime shows often say, “I don’t believe in coincidences?” Well, I don’t either. When all kinds of problems are cropping up in multiple areas, there are three possible reasons:

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What Does The Bible Say To A Man Whose Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

What Does The Bible Say To A Man Whose Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

Doesn’t the Bible say a man is head of his house, and has a right to sex with his wife?”

“During those long months when she was getting chemo other women started to look awfully appealing.”

“My wife and I are Christians, but I can’t seem to get her to agree to have sex with me when I need it.”

You can struggle greatly when your wife does not or cannot respond to you sexually. It’s a little ironic: here I am a woman, talking to men about sex. That’s because I’ve been asked about this specific question more than once, and this post is my answer. You may be struggling with this in your marriage and have told no one. I hope this helps you in some way.

But you also need to hear from other men. Check the bottom of this post: there are a few resources listed there that I believe you will find helpful.

I suspect some men asking this question may be looking for a Biblical excuse to get sex from somewhere outside of your marriage. Sorry: I’m not going to provide one. It isn’t there.

I suspect some other men asking this question may be looking for a Biblical reason to demand that their wife allow sexual intimacy whenever they wish her to. Again, sorry to disappoint you. I don’t find that in Scripture either.

But most men asking this question are truly struggling with the feelings of rejection, frustration, sexual tension, hopelessness, or even anger that come from being sexually unfulfilled in your marriage. You feel “slapped in the face” over and over again, and it reaches to the innermost part of your soul. Part of you wants to honor God, but you find your sexual drives difficult to manage when your wife is unwilling or unable to respond. Engaging in sexual intercourse is a big part of what makes you feel like a man, and right now you don’t feel much like a man at all.

What the Bible Says

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