5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

Feeling UpsetInto every life some difficult people must come. These are the people who make you feel small, stupid, and powerless. They’re the ones you assume you should have a relationship with, but you cringe every time you come in contact, or communicate with them. Somehow they have a way of making you feel like YOU are the crazy one. But somehow you still have to deal with difficult people.

Your difficult person might be your boss, your coworker, a sibling, an in-law, or even a parent. It might be a friend or classmate you developed a connection with before realizing how difficult the relationship would become. Whoever it is, they feel like a thorn in your side and you wish they would just go away.

A difficult person is not simply someone who needs your help. Here are some characteristics of a truly difficult person:

  • Refuses to take responsibility for their own life, feelings, and behavior
  • Turns simple challenges into major drama
  • Continually expects you to rescue them from their own problems
  • Makes you feel guilty if you don’t do what they demand
  • Blames you for any problems in the relationship, while demanding you stay connected
  • Responds to any help you provide with a demand for more, even if they voice appreciation at first
  • Has an answer for everything, and makes sure you realize that you don’t
  • Makes you feel confused, anxious, or “crazy” after interacting with them

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4 Things To Do While Waiting

WaitingNobody likes to wait. It’s frustrating. It feels cold. And it’s easy to let a seeming delay mess with your faith.

God sees time differently than we do. When He promises something, He will fulfill it – on His timetable. I believe God understands our frustration perfectly well. But somehow He never lets that interfere with His plans.

“Then why does He promise me something and make me wait? That’s even more painful than if He had not promised me anything at all!”

Perhaps Abraham felt that way when God promised him a son, and he had to wait 25 years before Isaac was born. (Genesis 15:5-6, 21:1-2) Perhaps David felt that way when God anointed him king, but it was about 17 years in coming. (1 Samuel 16:13, 2 Samuel 5:3-4) Perhaps the children of Israel felt that way in Egypt – for 400 years! (Genesis 15:18, Exodus 12:40)

Why does God promise us things, and then make us wait? And more importantly, what are we supposed to do while waiting?

I especially like the story of David in thinking about that question. David didn’t only get older during those years between the time Samuel anointed him and when he was crowned king of Israel. It was during those waiting years that he BECAME a king. It was the running from Saul, the writing of Psalms, the learning to lead his band of followers, and the trusting in God that made David what he was.

God does not promise us things so that we can sit back and wait. God promises us things to give us the faith and motivation necessary to develop into someone who can receive that promise!     Tweet that.

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Knowing God as Your Husband

Knowing God as Your Husband

If you’re a single woman, the idea of God as your husband may be a wonderful comfort. Or it may sound like a cruel joke. If you’re a married woman, it might also seem very confusing. What does that really mean?

I lived as a single woman for 48 years before meeting my husband, and I felt more than my share of loneliness. I asked “Why me?” more times than I can count. Every now and then I’d hear some other single lady talk about the comfort she found in knowing God as her Husband, and I’d wonder what she had that I didn’t. (See Isaiah 54:4-5)

But it really didn’t make much sense to me. I wanted a husband with skin on! I wanted someone to kiss me and hold me, to go to bed with at night and wake up with in the morning, to keep me from being lonely. I wanted someone to talk to when I needed. Although I became very good at taking care of myself, I thought it would be awfully nice to have someone take care of me every now and then.

And although I loved God, He doesn’t have skin on! How could He be those things to me?

My picture of God went through a lot of cleaning up and growing up during those years. And over time I learned what it was those ladies talked about when they said, “God is my Husband.” And I can honestly say that a few years before I met my husband Al, I too learned to know God in that way. It became the most important dimension of God’s work in my life.

And I still know Him in that way. If anything, being married has deepened my understanding of who God is to me. And I’m absolutely certain that this aspect of my relationship with God has made me a much happier and more successful wife.

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Marriage Under Pressure: Staying Intact Through Difficult Times

Marriage Under Pressure: Staying Intact Through Difficult Times

Every marriage faces times under pressure. Sometimes you overschedule your time or money, and the pressure builds. Sometimes an unexpected illness or accident threatens your well-laid plans. Sometimes your attempts at a project result in only frustration, or a misunderstanding creates hard feelings. Sometimes outside “stuff” comes against you that threatens your sense of normalcy.

Whatever the source, how you act when under pressure says a lot about your level of maturity and the strength of your relationship. When the heat gets turned up you find out what you’re really made of.

Al and I faced a big pressure-cooker day recently. As things calmed down we reflected together on what to do when tough stuff happens. I think you’ll find our combined suggestions here helpful for when your own marriage gets put under pressure. (This works when both husband and wife are people of good will, and care about their marriage.)

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If Your Wife Does Not Respect You

If Your Wife Does Not Respect You

Men thrive on respect. It’s right there at the top of a man’s emotional needs. If your wife does not respect you, you probably feels like a failure, at least at home.

God understands this need. He built it into a man’s heart. It’s why Paul wrote: “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

When a man feels respect from his wife, he feels like he can take on the world. When he doesn’t, he feels isolated, angry, frustrated, and powerless. And if such a man feels respect from someone other than his wife, it will be hard for him not to wander from his marriage.

If you’re a man who does not feel respect in his home, you probably already know that it’s not something you can authoritatively command. At best, trying to force respect leads to grudging words and passive aggressive behavior. At worst it leads to active resistance or running away.

So what’s a man to do? Here are 5 things you can and should do if this is you. (Remember, I’m only talking about what YOU can do. And don’t worry, ladies; I’m writing another post for you.)

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