Your husband berates you when you turn down his requests for sex, or when you don’t want to do the sexual acts he would like. Perhaps he even lobs Scripture at you, criticizing you for not meeting his sexual needs as the Bible says you should. Your husband calls you frigid. (Is that still a word the “younger generation” knows and uses? I could be dating myself.)
Your heart is crushed. You feel embarrassed or ashamed, or perhaps angry. Is there something wrong with you?
There are couples where the wife has a stronger sexual desire than her husband, and some husbands have learned wonderful ways to help their wives enjoy physical intimacy. But some Christian wives carry a boatload of guilt and/or shame about their sexual response or lack thereof.
Let me help unburden your heart. Here are 5 things to know as a Christian wife.
You have the right to say NO.
Your husband does not own you. Your body is not his property. You are not sinning when you say NO to your husband’s request for sex. God gave you the responsibility of caring for your mind, body, and soul in a way that first and foremost honors Him, and that allows you to offer your best self to your husband, your family, and others He places in your life.
That means if you’re used up, exploited, and empty, part of your responsibility is to find godly healthy ways to get filled up again. You don’t sit back and wait for someone else to fill you; you proactively go after the nourishment your soul needs.
God made your husband to desire sex.