change Archives - Page 14 of 18 - Dr Carol Ministries

The Single Most Important Way to Avoid Bad Advice

Learning from people who have experienced the same challenges you have is awesomely wise. It’s one of the most productive and efficient ways to grow, not to mention avoiding pain and heartache. That’s certainly true if the advice is good. But how do you know you’re not getting bad advice?

I’ve received plenty of both good and bad advice over the years. I remember one occasion when I purchased a car based on some bad advice from a friend. Seven months and numerous problems later I was relieved when I sold that car and only lost a few thousand dollars. Bad advice can get you in trouble in a hurry – and not just financial trouble!

Seeking wise advice is Biblical: “Where there is no guidance, the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.” (Proverbs 11:14) But not just any counsel will do; it must be godly. “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.” (Psalm 1:1)

SO, how do you know whether this person or this counsel is wise, godly, and appropriate for you?

Anxiety can be Good for You

Anxiety is a very unpleasant feeling. Your heart may race. Your stomach may be in knots. You may have trouble sleeping and trouble concentrating. But the very thing that makes you uncomfortable is often absolutely necessary if you want to make some positive change in your life.

Untreated or longstanding anxiety is certainly not good for your health. It’s a marker of stress, and too much of it for too long can lead to permanent damage to your body and your mind.

But there IS something very positive about anxiety. There’s a lot in common between anxiety and change, even good change.

Therapy is a great option for many people when something in their life is not going well. But some who go to therapy leave the very same way as they started. Researchers interviewed individuals who had made a significant and lasting change as a result of therapy to find out what made the difference. They found two conditions that had to be present for people to be able to change:

Keys to Overcoming Opposition In Your Mission

There’s a popular myth – perhaps unspoken – that says everything should be easy if you’re doing the right thing. But that’s just not true. Call it “the resistance,” spiritual warfare, or inertia, but the fact is that if you’re trying to do anything of significance you will face opposition. Coming to terms with and overcoming opposition will make the difference between success and failure in almost anything you do.

Change is usually painful, and almost always difficult. Every system wants to maintain the status quo. Your brain want to keep right on practicing the same bad habits, thinking the same negative thoughts, or enjoying the same addictions. Your family system wants to continue the same unhealthy or dysfunctional patterns of relating. Your church or business wants to remain at the same level, getting the same results as it is now, instead of growing.

When Good People Do Bad Things

Many in the popular media seem to relish exposing “skeletons in the closet” whenever an individual or a group that claims to be Christian does something bad. “Hypocrite!” they shout. “Why do you think you can judge others when you are doing worse things yourselves?” A recent media circus has made political fodder of a Christian family’s pain, and that’s wrong.

But even though the circus is wrong, it’s normal and understandable. This is only one of the more recent scandals involving those who claim the name of Christ. Those who would rather continue living without any restraint on their lifestyle love to demonize those who fail to live up to the standards they themselves portray as right. “Bad” people feel justified in their badness when good people do bad things too. And talk of “forgiveness” and “bad choices” doesn’t address the real issues.

The media will not be silenced when Christians engage in bad behavior involving sex, lies, or money. While such publicity may be personally excruciating and publically damaging to the name of Christ, I want to look deeper. While there are real benefits to adopting an openly Christian lifestyle, why are the lives of many who claim Christianity no better than others?

The data is not all negative, but there’s plenty of evidence to say that on many fronts Christians are behaving badly all too often:

Why Do Some People Beat the Odds?

Why do some people beat the odds and others don’t?

Some people remain stuck. Their addictions are just as strong as ever. Their life is defined by loneliness, anxiety, anger, or fear. Their traumatic childhood continues to dictate their emotions and behavior decades later. Their unhealthy lifestyle and the diseases it leads to catches up with them, while they continue to live the same way. They may die young, miserable, and lonely. They may get older, but nothing else changes.

Other people overcome tremendous obstacles. They beat their addiction and live clean and sober for the rest of their lives. They leave their fear, anger, PTSD, and self-destructive behaviors in the past. They quit smoking or lose 100 pounds or otherwise make dramatic lifestyle changes and realize the benefits. They stop relying on violence, control, or illegal activities. They grab poverty by the horns and make something of themselves, and then help others. They forge strong connections with other people and experience loving friends and family. The trajectory of their life changes in ways that make their future entirely different.

What makes the difference? Why do some people remain stuck even while continuing to pray “God, help me!” repeatedly? Why secret magic ingredient do other people have that allows them to get better in spite of the odds against them?

The Single Most Important Way to Avoid Bad Advice

Anxiety can be Good for You

Keys to Overcoming Opposition In Your Mission

When Good People Do Bad Things

Why Do Some People Beat the Odds?

7 Keys to Living Fully Alive from the Inside Out

Healthy Relationships