When You Are Disappointed in Your Marriage

When You Are Disappointed in Your Marriage

You expect certain things of your spouse. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have married them! Certain things almost go without saying: love, respect, honesty, faithfulness. Fulfilling those basic needs of a marriage relationship can, for some people, be a big enough challenge.

But sometimes you want more. You believe your spouse loves you, but it’s not enough. You crave something you’re not getting. You want adventure, intimacy, emotional connection, time, trust, help around the house, more money, children, support, more sex – something more.

Over time that sense of wanting more will create a wall between you. Your sense of disappointment will separate your heart from your spouse until you either wither up and die inside, or leave the marriage. Disappointment is a profound relationship killer.

The only way to keep “wanting more” from coming between you and your spouse is to address the problem head on. That doesn’t mean confronting or nagging your spouse! But it does mean following a well-thought-out plan to deal with the problem.

If you’re disappointed in your marriage and want more than you’re getting from your spouse, here are the steps you can take:

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Things Children Can Teach You

Kids Posing on GrassBeing with our grandchildren is one of the things I enjoy most. Seeing the world through a child’s eyes sets so many things straight. Learning to walk, fascination over a butterfly, first day of school – every day is wonderful in some way.

The tiredness and busyness of life lead most of us to forget much of what we knew as children. Here are some things children know that we can learn again:

  1. Joy comes from small things. It’s not expensive entertainment, fancy material things, or the whole world liking you that makes you happy. Joy comes from simple things: noticing dew on a spider web, the feeling of sand between your toes, hearing the echo of your voice across a valley, or a good stretch in the morning.
  2. Learning is fun. Have you noticed the wonder in a child’s eyes? Learning new things about the world, stretching your mind and body to do something new, relishing in the mastery of a new skill or understanding – that never has to stop.
  3. Living in the present is best. You’re likely to miss so much by rushing through life. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Borrowing from the past or the future is useless. Take time to notice and appreciate today.
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10 Things To Do When You Feel Lonely

10 Things To Do When You Feel Lonely

Woman alone on couchMake friends with yourself; then you will never have to be lonely!

Sometimes it really is that simple. We do need people in our lives. But being alone does not have to mean feeling lonely. Your personality has a lot to say about your emotional state when you are by yourself. But it’s still your choice about how you deal with loneliness.

When I was a young woman I struggled with feeling terribly lonely. I could feel lonely even in a crowd. I felt like I didn’t have any friends, and was rarely invited to join others. Sometimes I would find a school or church event to go to just so I wouldn’t have to be alone. And yet being around people didn’t make me feel any better.

Changing my emotional habits took effort, but I learned that it IS possible. When you feel lonely, taking some specific action can change your whole emotional state. You DO have a choice in the matter! Over time, those actions may create new emotional habits, and you will feel entirely different about the times when you are alone.

Here are some things you can do when you feel lonely.

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5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married

5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married

Single Happy WomanI had given up on marriage. It just wasn’t for me. It’s not that I didn’t want to be married: I had hoped and prayed for years. I had dated from time to time, but no relationship ever developed that was really serious. By the time I was in my early forties I had come to terms with the fact that I would always be single.

But then, surprise! When I was 48 years old God brought a wonderful man, Al Tanksley, into my life. Neither of us had been looking for a spouse. But he was ready. I was ready. And we got married. It was truly a miraculous God thing! And very worth waiting for.

During my single years I learned a lot. It was that kind of growing up that has allowed me to be so happily married now. Here are a few of those lessons:

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5 Actions to Take With Almost Any Problem

Woman Feeling StressIf it wasn’t one thing it was another. Hot flashes. No sleep. Blood tests showing problems. Both kids recently married, and now having an empty next. Over-the-top work stress. Marriage having some challenges. The very professional woman broke down in tears, hoping for some help from me as her doctor.

Is Linda’s problem medical? Her physical symptoms are very real, and there is a very possible biochemical reason for some of them. There are some medication options that may help. But no pill will fix the stress at her job, or fill her empty nest. And if she was not under this level of stress, the physical symptoms would be much less of an issue.

I explained to Linda how inter-connected a women is in her body, mind, and soul. And we talked through these action steps that I’ll share with you.

When faced with almost any problem, here’s what to do.

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