Your spouse’s bad behavior can make your life seem as though it’s falling apart. Your psyche is stretched to the limit, and you’re not sure how much longer you can survive if things don’t change. You could really use some concrete ways to move forward, or at least a clear way to think about things.
I hear from spouses every day:
- “My husband refuses to get help for his gambling and substance abuse. He won’t even acknowledge he has a problem.”
- “My wife is only after me for my money and spends irresponsibly. She refuses to engage in intimacy or conversation.”
- “My husband has had a mistress for several years. He keeps promising to cut things off with her, but he’s back with her again.”
- “I’m always walking on eggshells around my husband. I never know what will cause him to fly into a rage. I live in fear.”
You’ve tried to change your spouse – unsuccessfully. You’ve threatened, cried, put up with, tried to let it go, ignored, waited, and anything else you can think of. Perhaps you’ve tried to get professional help and read anything you can find on the subject. You’ve prayed and prayed, and things are still the same. Am I stuck with this miserable marriage forever? Is this “bad enough” for a divorce? Why doesn’t God fix my marriage when I keep asking Him to?
If you want the same results, keep doing the same thing. If you don’t, it’s time for a change. Time for YOU to change.
Feeling emotional, powerless, and desperate is understandable. But decisions made from that mindset almost never result in a good outcome.
No marriage is perfect. You and your spouse are both sinners. However, thoughtfully working through the following 5 areas will provide a framework for you to move forward.