Many people who desire to follow Jesus struggle with their sexuality. You might be like Paul, doing what you don’t really want to do, or not doing what you know is right and good (Romans 7:15-19). Your thought life or fantasies or behaviors might feel out of your control, and you hate it. Along with having a good escape plan and connecting with others, a very important key to finding goodness and freedom is learning to consecrate your sex life to Jesus.
Ouch! That idea might feel impossible or even “dangerous.” Or perhaps it’s like, “I’ve tried that, and it doesn’t work.” If that’s your reaction, I would bet your mental picture of consecrating your sex life to Jesus looks like trying harder, gritting your teeth, making a decision and white-knuckling it – and eventually “failing.”
How exhausting and hopeless! But that’s not it at all.
Will power is not a bad thing. Harnessing will power can sometimes help you make progress, but it will eventually run out. You don’t need more will power; you need a Lord of your sex life, Someone who is infinitely good and also wiser and stronger than you, who can change you from the inside out.
While on earth Jesus had the same need for intimacy that we do. He also had all the sex hormones, sex organs, and sex drive that any of us humans have. And He was never married, never had sex. Would Jesus have been more fully alive, more fully human, if He had gotten married or had sex? Certainly not. How did He make it? How did He deal with His sexuality?
I was talking about this with a group of men and women going through our Sexpections course. One twenty-something single young man (I’ll call) Dan said, “But Jesus was a special case. He was without sin, unlike the rest of us. Jesus was extremely tight with His heavenly Father.”
Bingo! Dan was assuming that Jesus’ example didn’t really apply to him. But his response was truer than he first realized. Jesus’ whole being, including His body, was daily, intimately connected with His Father. He said, “I can do nothing on my own” (John 5:30). Jesus breathed the very air of connection with His heavenly Father.
That’s how Jesus made it. Every iota of His being, every cell of His body, every thought and feeling and desire and action, was submitted to His Father. That’s more than remarkable. Here is the second Person of the Godhead, on earth in human form, submitting every bit of Himself to God the Father moment by moment, day by day, 24/7/365. And Jesus also needed human connection, and pursued real intimacy with a few others.
If Jesus had to live that way, do you imagine you’ll get by with anything less?
Jesus as Lord of Your Life
The followers of The Way (what Christians were called before they were called Christians) had as their rallying cry, “Jesus is Lord!” They had come to understand that Jesus was Conqueror over the kingdom of darkness, and was Lord of everything in “earth, heaven, or hell,” everything seen and unseen. He would eventually be crowned Lord, and every knee will come to bow before Him (Philippians 2:10).
But is Jesus your Lord?
You may have said yes to Jesus’ offer of salvation; Hallelujah! He is your Savior! But is He the Lord of your life? Does He have say over how you spend your time and your money? Over what you do about your relationships, your family life, your vocation/work life, your body, your entertainment, where you live? Following Jesus is not about an hour or two in “church” each week; it’s about who you are and who you give your allegiance to.
We don’t talk about that idea much in the contemporary Western church. You might feel ambivalent about Jesus as Lord. Your subjective self might wonder if Jesus is safe enough to really trust as Lord. Part of you wants to do what you want to do, especially if being a Christian is good-enough fire-insurance for eternity. And is Jesus really good? Is He for you?
Jesus will never force you into “obedience.” Control and manipulation are the enemy’s tactic, not God’s. But Jesus does invite you to make Him the Lord of every part of your life. It’s no longer trying to force yourself to do or not do something. Now you are allowing Him to make His home in you. You are learning to listen to His voice and follow Him (John 10:27).
That may sound other-worldly and mystical, but based on the New Testament that’s exactly the kind of life Jesus is inviting you into.
The Lord of your Sex Life
Consecration isn’t a word we use much today. Imagine having your own car. You’re the only one with the keys, and you can use it anytime you want. You take care of it well, and you might feel proud of it and show it off to your friends. It would feel very different if the car belonged to several people who could each use it as they wished; you wouldn’t have the same pride in taking care of it. If the car is yours alone, it’s consecrated to you. It’s yours.
That’s what it means to be consecrated to Jesus. You belong to Him. You are exclusively His.
Have you consecrated your sex life to Jesus? Are you holding on to ownership of your own body and sexuality? Or have you asked Jesus to be in charge?
The transformation Jesus offers is always good. God made you as an embodied sexual being. Your sexuality is not something to be either hated or made into a god. Wholeness means your sexuality, and every other part of you, is welcomed into the process of who you are becoming. And that whole integrated you is undergoing ongoing transformation. You come to submit your sexuality to your heavenly Father every day just as Jesus did.
If Jesus is Lord of your sex life, that part of you belongs to Him. You can pray something like this, daily and out loud if you need;
Jesus, I choose You to be the Lord of my life. I specifically make You the Lord of my sex life. I consecrate my sexuality to You. And I purpose to follow You, not by trying harder on my own but by making my body, mind, and soul daily available for You to do Your good work in me from the inside out.
Invite Jesus to be Lord of your sex life today. That will change things.
Consecrate your sex life to Him.
Your Turn: How does your heart respond to the idea of consecrating your sex life to Jesus, making Him the Lord of your sex life? I’d love to hear from you; leave a comment below.
Tweetables: why not share this post?
- You don’t need to just “try harder.” You need Someone different in charge. Make Jesus the Lord of your sexuality. Consecrate your sex life to Him. That will change everything. Tweet that.
Could You Use Some Help with Your Sex Life?
Our online course Sexpectations walks you through the process of looking at your sexual story, inviting Jesus into your story, and developing a lifestyle of growing in sexual wholeness.
You’ll uncover and address the broken places in your story where you’ve been trying to hide. You’ll find real transformation in the process and be empowered to write the next chapter of your story with hope.