Do you wish your lady was more like the one you only dream about? Here are some magical keys that will transform your woman into that amazing creature who will hold your heart captive. And it all starts with understanding what makes her who she is.

Deep in the heart of every woman is the desire to feel cherished, loved, wanted, and beautiful. She longs to be part of an adventure, something bigger than herself. Some part of her wants more. As Vivian tells Edward in Pretty Woman, “I want more. I want the fairy tale!”

As women we can respond to those heart desires wisely or unwisely. Oh, we can’t easily stand back and analyze our hearts logically, and then choose what to do with them. But we know when we feel swept off our feet by a romantic lover. We know when a word, an experience, or a person makes us feel beautiful. We know when the deep strength buried in our soul comes rushing out to protect our own, or to meet a challenge that mere mortals would never dream of facing. That’s what it means to be a woman.

If you’re a guy, this becomes incredibly important information. Your lady does not respond to criticism, logical reasoning, or pressure from behind. But reach into her soul and tap into the strength and beauty she longs to display, and you will be overwhelmed at the prize she can become. Your job is to search out that part of her heart, and help it flourish.

How can you do that? Since you guys like things laid out step-by-step, here are some things your beloved is certain to respond to:

  1. Give yourself to her. Why do you think such songs as I’m Going to Love You Forever, or I’d Just Love to Lay You Down get women screaming with delight? There’s nothing that captures a woman’s heart more completely than a man who unashamedly gives himself to her without reservation. She feels number one! And in return she’s likely to allow you to see her beauty as never before.
  2. Be proud of her, and tell her so. Notice the unique things she does well, the ways she responds to and overcomes challenges, the characteristics you treasure about her. Rejoice with her in her accomplishments. Allow yourself to be impressed, and don’t be ashamed to tell her so.
  3. Take her with you on your adventure. Sometimes you have to go it alone: she understands that. But when you can, encourage her to come along. And show her off in the process. She loves to know how important she is to you: that’s what makes her tick. Tell her you need her, and she’ll move heaven and earth for you.
  4. Tell her you love her. Find creative ways to let her know what she means to you. She needs to hear it – often. If that’s hard for you, stretch yourself: you’ve done much harder things in the past! If you don’t, you risk her heart grasping for someone else who will tell her “the things a woman loves to hear.”
  5. Be true to her. She wants to be number one to someone: make sure that someone is you! Turn to her, and only her, for your sexual needs. Let your eyes enjoy her. Romance her. She wants you to want her.
  6. Pray with and for her. Let her hear you pray for her. Even if you don’t feel very fluent in your prayers, doing so will draw her heart to you, and it will draw both of you closer together and to God.

Much of this is simply fulfilling what Paul said when he told husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. (See Eph. 5:25) But what I want you to understand is how strong and beautiful your wife will become as a result.

You make me feel like a …. woman!

Your turn: What keys have you found to your wife’s heart? How does she respond? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

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