It’s something most of us don’t like to talk about or even think about. But there is no more universal experience than losing a loved one in death. Part of your heart is torn, and it will never be the same again.
The experience of grief is unpreventable. It doesn’t matter much whether it’s your mother, father, child, spouse, or other loved one, death leaves a painful void that words cannot well express. Even if that loved one’s death is expected the loss is still no less painful.
The experience of grief is personal. Your relationship with your loved one was unique, and so is your experience of their loss. No one else can fully understand what that loss means to you, or tell you how to feel or what to do at such a difficult time.
The experience of grief is passing. That does not mean you will forget your loved one. But it does mean that healing is possible. There is no right answer about how long you should feel grief, or how soon you take each next step in moving into the next stage in your life. But time, help, and God’s comfort can clearly sooth your troubled soul.
The fact that we feel grief so keenly is one more bit of evidence that we were not meant for death. God did not create us to live twenty, seventy, or even a hundred years, and then go away into nothingness. No – He created us for eternity. He created us to live forever!
Death is an affront to our creation, an aberration brought into our world by God’s enemy and perpetuated by sin. And each time a loved one dies we are reminded once again of eternity, and how fragile our place is in it until God’s Kingdom is fully realized.
In the meantime, there will be tears. You mourn the loss of a loved one only because you have loved them. And God promises that He sees and remembers your tears. He will comfort you as only One who experienced the death of His Only Son can do.
And more than that, you can be assured that your loved one’s death is not the end of the story. God has promised to wipe all tears from your eyes one day – that day when death has lost its sting and the grave has lost its victory.
Until then, let me encourage you to entrust your heart to God – the only One who fully understands you, and who can bring you healing.
On the most recent Dr Carol Show we talk about the journey of grief – how to deal with memories, regrets, and loss. We talk about the difference your relationship with God can make, and what that does not do. And we share several personal stories of grief. The three-minute Saturday Memo gives some specific highlights, as in some of this post. And the full archive is available here.
On the program we mention the following resources. I think you’ll find them helpful:
- There is no easy way to go through the journey of grief. GriefShare is a group of caring people who can help walk through that journey with you. CLICK HERE to find a group near you.
- For our special page listing Scriptures (and more) related to grief, CLICK HERE.
- Check out Dr Carol’s newsletter Sometimes I Cry.
Your Turn: What was the hardest part of your loss of a loved one? What helped you in your journey of grief? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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