Sex was God’s idea! And Oh how far humankind has fallen from His lofty ideal. But if you think the primary thing God has to say is, “Don’t do it”, there’s a lot you may have yet to learn. The Bible is actually quite steamy. It’s not that hard to find Scriptures to enhance your sex life.
This shouldn’t be all that surprising. When God created male and female, He built them with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That was a natural outgrowth of being made in His image – the God who experiences such intimacy within Himself that we are told to think of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as One God.
This extravagant gift God built into humankind has been so exploited and marred by the enemy that we often have to work hard to find the goodness. And that’s where Scripture comes in. The Bible is a wonderful sex manual.
So, here’s a great sample – 8 Scriptures that can greatly enhance your sex life.
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The Original Plan
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24-25)
Naked and unashamed. Is that how things are in your marriage? God’s design for a one-flesh marriage is almost mind-boggling. No barriers between. Fully seen and known, and seeing and knowing fully – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Don’t ever give up on that plan. Don’t settle for less.
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Comfort in Intimacy
“And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” (Genesis 24:67)
Those who have maintained a successful marriage for many years regularly express how the closeness and connection in sex becomes a great comfort. That doesn’t happen just with a physical act. But when sex is a part of ongoing intimacy it leads to significant physical and emotional wellbeing.
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Sex is for Joy
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)
If you’ve had the idea that God intended sex to be for procreation only, this passage can hopefully disrupt that idea. Rejoice. Delight. Intoxicated. Those are words God uses to describe the sexual union between husband and wife. This is in the context of telling a young man (or woman) to keep his sexual desires only focused on his wife. That exclusivity leads to the joy described.
Notice also how this hints at adventure and excitement – with your spouse!
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Wife, It’s for You Too!
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers.”(Song of Solomon 1:2-4)
The steamiest book in all in the Bible. And it begins with the wife’s strong desires. She is totally enraptured by her lover. Scripture in no way indicates that sex is only for the husband’s pleasure. So wife, enjoy! Initiate. Pursue your husband. Bring your whole body and soul to the enjoyment. See sex with your husband as a banquet. Don’t let the enemy rob you of such joy.
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Husband, Enjoy Her Beauty
“Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! … How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!” (Song of Solomon 4:1, 10)
Husband, fill your eyes with your wife, and only her. (And wife, let him do so.) If any in the Christian church have led you to feel your virility makes you ungodly, don’t believe them. God made you, and needs you, masculine with all the testosterone that goes with it. To be channeled, yes. But your sexuality is a good thing. Focus it on your wife.
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Covenant Commitment Fuels Passion in Love
“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7)
This final chapter in Song of Solomon is a picture of mature love, love that has lasted decades, well into old age. That’s what covenant-level commitment leads to. You’ve seen couples who have lasted fifty, sixty years together? That takes commitment.
And the results are beautiful. Priceless. And notice the “flashes of fire”; sex is still there!
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Gratitude and Mutual Submission
“giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20-21)
You see what you look for. Look for the good things in your spouse. Choose to be grateful for who they are. That changes your outlook. And your spouse is more likely to do more of what you express appreciation for.
And submitting to one another; that’s how followers of Jesus are to approach all relationships, and especially in marriage. Neither husband nor wife can dominate. It’s a partnership – especially in sex.
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God Can Cleanse You
“Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:25-26
Your sexual past, your spouse’s sexual past, may present a big barrier to true sexual intimacy. But that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. The good news of the gospel is that your past is not the end!
Imagine what it would be like to feel clean.
Invite Jesus to cleanse you – body, soul, and spirit. And then invite Him to cleanse your marriage bed. Consecrate your sex life together to Him. He will delight in doing so, and in your growing intimacy.
(P.S. This picture shows what God intended. Sadly, some marriages become toxic. If that’s your marriage, seek God’s help and help from others.)
Your Turn: How have you imagined the Bible’s portrayal of sex? Do any of these Scriptures help you see a next step you can take to enhance your sex life? Leave a comment below.
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How’s Your Intimacy?
You said “I do” expecting lasting love, connection, sex, and joy. But you may now be feeling more loneliness, frustration, or anger. What happened to “happily ever after?”
In one important sense it’s not your fault. Nobody ever taught you how to do marriage, intimacy, sex, and relationships well. Our Fully Alive Marriage online course shows you how to overcome marriage challenges, learn to love well, and build an intimate and Fully Alive marriage that lasts!
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