Resources and Links

Your Marriage Under Lockdown

If things are wonderful between you and your spouse, lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic may seem great; you’ve got…

Your Feedback Matters to Us

We think about you every day. And your feedback matters to us!  That’s why we’re giving you a special opportunity…

Are You Spiritually Healthy?

I hope you are. I really do! Hopefully your spiritual practices bring you joy and growth, you feel connected to…
You Warmed My Heart

You Warmed My Heart!

Last week we sent out our 2019 Reader Survey. Hundreds and hundreds of you answered. THANK YOU for warming my…
Christmas Story Reading

Our Christmas Gift to You

Perhaps you are celebrating Christmas with many friends and family, with food, presents, gifts, and perhaps football. Or perhaps you’re…
My Favorite Things

A Few of My Favorite Things

It’s Christmastime! No, Jesus was not born on December 25. But this remembrance of His birth is a worthy time…
What Gratitude Does For You

What Gratitude Does For You

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Many are gathering to celebrate with family, food, — and football. It’s…
Intimacy in a fallen world

Intimacy in a Fallen World

How you do relationships is both a reflection of and the determining factor in the quality of your life. If…

What To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With You

The stereotype of a man pressuring his wife for sex does not apply to every relationship: there are many women who experience just the opposite. Even when a woman is not the sexual aggressor, it wounds a woman’s heart when her husband does not demonstrate sexual attraction to her.
Rather than wallowing in self-pity, or looking outside the marriage for satisfaction, here are five questions to consider if your husband appears to shrink from having sex with you.

Speaking and Listening

You Spoke, We Listened

Last week we invited you to tell us a little about yourself, about your opinions around Dr Carol Ministries, and…
Warm Thank You

YOU Make All the Difference

Dear Friend, Counting your blessings is good for your physical, mental, and spiritual health. As 2017 comes to an end…
Man praying

God Doesn’t Always Fix You

By that I mean, God doesn’t always fix you in some magical single moment. In the ultimate sense God always…
Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Header

It’s Over on Tuesday!

Your opportunity to get the FREE bonuses for preordering Overcoming Fear and Anxiety through Spiritual Warfare lasts only until the…
Child with Bible

Positive Thinking and the Bible

Is it magic? Is it “mind over matter?” Does faith mean white-knuckling it with positive thoughts and affirmations? What do you…
Women's Health and Shame

Women’s Health and Shame

Women’s health topics bring up such strong emotions – “for” and “against” and everything in-between. By listening to some people you’d…

Christmas Greeting 2015

I and all of us at Dr Carol Ministries want to wish you a very Merry Christmas! If you’re gathering…

A Big THANK YOU!

Those of us in the United States have just celebrated Thanksgiving. For many, it was a day for food, family,…

Two Minutes to Being More Happy

People who are more happy experience 23% less stress, 39% better health, 31% more productivity, and 34% more positive social interactions.…
Woman Asking Questions

What Do You Need?

I’ve been writing this blog for a few years now, and it’s been a growing, exciting experience. I’ve so enjoyed…

3 Ways to Start Your Day Right

Have you ever wished you could go back and start your day over again? You’re frustrated, irritable, and nothing seems…
Studying Bible

God Help Me! I’m Broke!

Bring up the topic of money, and everyone has an opinion. The government should do more – or is doing…

Why You Must Find Your WHY

Brianna sat down to chat yesterday. Her second child is nine months old, and she and her husband are planning…
Healthy weight loss

10 Healthy Weight Loss Tips

Healthy weight loss is a big deal. Losing weight – or trying to – is big business. Researchers tell us…

When Good People Do Bad Things

Many in the popular media seem to relish exposing “skeletons in the closet” whenever an individual or a group that…

Live Healthy, Live Whole!

It’s here! Your Prescription for Healthy Living, Loving Relationships, and Joyful Spirituality Have you ever tried to have a meaningful…
Couple happy together

Sex Without Pain

Is sex without pain possible? Sex shouldn’t hurt! But too often it does. As a gynecologist I have talked with…
Senior Couple in Love

Enjoying Sex After Menopause

Some men complain their wives lose interest in intimacy around the time of menopause. Some women complain they can’t enjoy…

Getting Over A Bad Attitude

A bad attitude isn’t all in your head. Sometimes it’s very much in your body as well. A bad attitude…

What the Bible Says About Health

I often see honest Christian people who are not at all healthy. Sometimes they become frustrated and discouraged, even wondering…

How God Makes A “Real Man”

God’s not done creating and recreating men, remember. God still needs your viril strength, your adventurous or creative spirit, and your protecting, leading presence. Yes, those dreams you had as a little boy do need to grow up. But don’t just let them go.

Frustrated husband whose wife doesn't want sex

What Does The Bible Say To A Man Whose Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

You can struggle greatly when your wife does not or cannot respond to you sexually. It’s a little ironic: here I am a woman, talking to men about sex. That’s because I’ve been asked about this specific question more than once, and this post is my answer. You may be struggling with this in your marriage and have told no one. I hope this helps you in some way.

In The War On Women, Are You A Victim, A Survivor, Or A Warrior?

There’s been a lot of talk about a war against women recently. I agree! There HAS been a war against women, but it’s not the war that’s being talked about in much of the progressive media. It’s a war that’s much older, much more sinister, and much more dangerous, than anything related to healthcare or so-called reproductive rights.

How To Begin Making The Bible Real To You

If you are like many Christians, the voice in your head may be telling you, “Read the Bible!”
I’ve heard that voice in my head too. Even though I read the Bible from the time I learned to read there have certainly been times in my life when it just didn’t happen.
I want to take away a little of the mystery and the overwhelm, and outline a few things that can give you the chance to experience how life-changing Scripture can truly be.

Reading the Bible

What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like Reading the Bible

There’s that little voice in your head that says, “Read the Bible!” Intellectually you accept the fact that as a Christian, reading the Bible would be a good thing to do. But you don’t feel like it.
Here are a few thoughts on what to do at those moments when you just don’t feel like reading the Bible.

Young woman

10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband

Looking for a husband? So was I.
And then I gave up. And it’s probably the best thing I ever did.
I’d like to look at it from the other side. Sadly, if you are looking for Mr Right there are a number of married women who would be glad to give him to you! Learning from mistakes others have made may save you a lot of heartache. (And in a moment, I’ll also share two things you SHOULD do.)

Football player praying

When It’s OK To Ask God For Things

This morning I asked God for something specific. It’s something big, at least in my eyes. I’m sure in God’s eyes it’s not a big thing at all.
Have you asked God for something specific? Are you still waiting for an answer?

Lonely heart

How God Can Heal Your Lonely Heart

You’re single, with no good prospects in sight. You’re lonely, and you want to do things God’s way. You long for someone to love, and to love you. So why isn’t God coming through with a spouse for you?
You’ve heard people talk about God meeting your heart’s needs, and intellectually you believe He can. But you’re lonely. Right now you want a God with “skin on.”

When Your Soul Is Tired

In the 21st century there are so many things that can wear us out. An unhealthy lifestyle, lack of sleep, digital overload, complicated relationships, and stress of all kinds is enough to make any one of us exhausted.
But perhaps the most paralyzing of all is exhaustion of the soul. All the other stresses of life can certainly make your body and mind vulnerable, but soul fatigue leaves you barely existing rather than living.

Smiling Child

10 Reasons You Should Smile More

Smiles are contagious!
That’s only one reason to be conscious of how often you smile. Smiling is good for your body, mind, and soul. It’s good for the people around you. And it can demonstrate an inner hope and peace that speaks of God’s work in your heart.
So, here are some specific reasons you should consciously make an effort to smile more often.

Sleepy boy

8 Things To Do When You’re Tired

If you’re tired because you are behind on your sleep, that may be the very best thing to do.
But not so fast. Sometimes sleep may work against you.
Often it’s not a medical problem that’s causing fatigue. There are many lifestyle factors in our modern world that just wear you out!
So what can you do when you’re tired?

Where Are YOU Looking For Love?

If you’re a single person, you’ve certainly been asked the question, How’s your love life?
As for the single life, I know what that’s like. During much of my single years I was decidedly unhappy about being single, and felt terribly lonely. But I did learn a lot. And I’d like to share two of those things with you.

Number One New Year’s Resolution: Losing Weight

Did you make any New Year’s Resolutions this year? If so, there’s a pretty good chance that losing weight is at the top of your list.
If weight is YOUR challenge, the costs are much more personal. You pay in ways such as decreased energy, self-esteem, or perhaps a sense of discrimination. I see women in my office regularly who break down in tears over their struggle with weight.
But now it’s a new year, and you’ve resolved to do something about it. And before taking any other action, I want you to think FIRST about what’s eating you!

Why You Don’t Have to Fear the Future

The analogy I like the best is comparing a new year to a newborn baby.
I frequently get to be the one who helps a new baby enter the world. From time to time I wonder what kind of life that newborn baby will grow up to have.

When You Dread the Holidays

I have a friend who dreads this time of year. Come each November 15, he wishes he could fast-forward to January 2. The stress, the rush, the shopping, the expectations – he hates it all. And most of all, he hates being lonely.
There are a number of reasons why you might not look forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. Holidays make our normal vulnerabilities more apparent.
If that’s you, there’s one important thing you must do this holiday season.

MEMO: Getting Past Your Past

Have you ever felt really stuck? It feels like something big has its claws in your brain and you just can’t move. No matter how hard you try you can’t get rid of the baggage that is weighing you down and holding you back.
We all come with a past. Some of our baggage is stuff others have done to us. Some of our baggage is stuff we have done to ourselves.
But how do you get past all that? Here’s how:

5 Pieces of Smart Marriage Advice

The institution of marriage goes back to the Garden of Eden. But sadly the state of many marriages today is anything but Eden-like! For those who are married, there is probably no other area of life that has a bigger impact on your well-being than the state of your marriage.
There are many bits of advice for those wanting a better, healthier, happier marriage. Here are five I believe to be especially important:

How A Christian Faces Trouble and Tragedy

We live in a world where there is no shortage of trouble. And that trouble often presents a great challenge to our faith.
Perhaps it’s a natural disaster. Then there is the almost unspeakable violence both near and far. Or perhaps it is your own private trauma. When trouble happens, it’s normal to ask questions: Why me?
In the face of unexpected tragedy, the challenge to faith is real. When trouble comes, here are three things to do:

Healing From The Bondage Of Addiction

The numbers concerning addiction are truly staggering. And the problem is huge in the Christian church as well. But numbers tell little of the personal devastation caused by addiction. And the most devastating cost of all is to the soul of the person held in bondage by an addiction.
Yes, addiction is powerful. But as powerful as addiction is, there is ONE who is more powerful. There is ONE who is the Bondage Breaker, Jesus Himself. He has already gone to hell and back for you, and He offers you a way out.

Where Do You Fit In The Big Drama?

For many people the Christian life seems difficult. You try to knuckle down and push yourself to make it work. But that’s just it: it’s work!
Seeing the Christian life as work will always make it seem difficult. It may help keep you out of jail, but it certainly won’t be much fun.
Let me suggest a much more engaging way to look at things. Rather than work, consider the Christian life as part of a very great drama. Think of what you know of the Bible.

Managing Your Mental Health

The National Alliance on Mental Illness estimates that at least one in four adults suffers from a diagnosable mental illness during any given year. Sure, there’s controversy over whether the one-in-four number represents an over-diagnosis. But what is absolutely certain is the pain and loneliness many of those affected struggle with.
There are a number of things you can do on your own to maximize your mental health. You don’t have to accept emotional or mental problems as your destiny. Here are recommendations that will make a difference in managing your own mental health:

15 Things You Can Do In Your Time With God

You know you “should” spend time alone with God. Perhaps you feel a little guilty for not having something spiritual to answer your friends with. But more than that, it all sounds boring and unimportant. You just can’t do “pious and spiritual.”
God works uniquely in each person’s life. So if you’re up for an experiment, here are some suggestions to try. See what fits with your personality.

Senior Moments, or Alzheimer’s?

One of the biggest fears many people have as they get older is the possibility of developing Alzheimer’s or some other dementia. Alzheimer’s disease is the sixth leading cause of death in this country. One in 3 seniors die with Alzheimer’s or some other dementia. Direct costs of Alzheimer’s disease in the United States will top $203 billion this year.
But these numbers don’t really touch on the personal cost of dementia. Many of both the patients and family members affected feel like Alzheimer’s steals what should be some of the most meaningful years of one’s life. Family members put careers on hold. Financial savings are wiped out. And the physical and emotional toll of caregiving becomes overwhelming.

Single: When You Live Alone

The rates of marriage may be going down in our society. But for most, you expect to grow up, find a man or woman to join your life with, create a family, and live happily ever after. Your mental life plan, conscious or unconscious, probably did not include being single.
At least for some, marriage will never happen. And then the truth is that marriage is temporary. Every marriage has an end. Your spouse dies, or your marriage ends in divorce, and you face being single again. Whether never married or newly single, the single life has special challenges.
Being single is not just a prelude to being married. Go ahead and enjoy life, and take God with you on the journey.

Getting Your Spouse To Change

Marriage is risky! Expecting or demanding change from your spouse is likely to result in profound disappointment. Getting your spouse to change is very much like God’s work to change you and me.

When Arms Are Empty: Infertility

There’s something intimate and beautiful about new parents holding their newborn baby in their arms. But sadly, many couples do not have an opportunity to experience that joy, and do not have a baby to hold in their arms.
As a Reproductive Endocrinologist I’ve seen couples struggle with these issues, and have seen the stress it puts on their relationship. Helping couples experience that miracle is a privilege I enjoy. And my hope and prayer is that you can experience that miracle when you so desire.

Searching For The Fountain Of Youth

Even before Ponce de Leon spent his years searching Florida for the illusive fountain of youth, men and women have searched for ways to look and feel younger, and to keep from getting old. Most of us recognize that with maturity often comes wisdom, but we long for the freshness of youth.
Something in our soul understands that getting old, weak, and dependent is not our original destiny. Deep inside we sense that 70, 80, or even 90 years is not long enough.

birth control pills

Should I Use Birth Control? A Christian Doctor’s Answer

When I think of contraception, a number of images come to mind. Talking about contraception is often an emotionally charged issue. The debate really has nothing to do with birth control. The debate has to do with sex.
If you’ve read this far, you want to know how I deal with these issues, and what I tell patients. As a Christian, as a gynecologist, as a minister, what’s the RIGHT thing to do?

Body

Women and Hormones: No Excuse!

A woman is beautiful, complicated, fascinating, strong, and loving. Much of a woman’s fascinating, complicated nature comes down to a woman and her hormones.
As a gynecologist, I see women at some of the most intimate and challenging times of their lives. And I’m honored to help. I’ve also seen some women use their hormones as an excuse for bad behavior.
Here are a few suggestions I make to women struggling with their hormones, and the men who love them:

5 Steps to a Fair Fight in Marriage

Two very different people get married and plan to “do life together” for the rest of their lives. Is it any wonder there are differences, even conflicts?
The more important thing is what you do when those differences arise. Fighting fair is a skill married couples need to practice, and one that some find difficult to learn.
In a fair fight, there are a few things to keep in mind:

What It Means To Be A Man

I’m a woman, and I’m talking to men about men. Sure, that’s a little dangerous, but here’s my perspective.
Men have challenges to face that our modern society perhaps makes even harder. Today’s jobs and today’s families often give men the message that they are unnecessary. And perhaps the church can be especially faulted for making a goal out of becoming a “Mr Nice Guy!”
But I believe that God created men the way they are on purpose.

Your God May Damage Your Mental Health

Or to put it more academically correctly, your view of God as either benevolent or vindictive is correlated with your risk of psychiatric symptoms. At least that’s what recent research published in the Journal of Religion and Health seems to indicate.
For a person of faith, examining religion, spirituality, or Christianity from a scientific viewpoint may at first seem a like denial of that faith. But if our faith cannot stand up to scrutiny perhaps it’s not faith in the right thing!

Wedding rings

Preparing for Marriage Success

Ask a thirty-something single person, and you may well hear moans and groans about the lack of any suitable marriage partners anywhere on the horizon. But then ask the person who has experienced domestic violence, a heart-breaking divorce, or a chronically unhappy marriage full of conflict. They will tell you you’re much better off alone.
Before Al and I got married I heard two wise pieces of advice that can make a difference for anyone who is getting married:

When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Losing a loved one in death is one of life’s most difficult experiences. It’s something each one of us either already has or someday will go through. Knowing it will happen does not make it any less painful.
The journey of grief is just that – a journey.

Nature or Nurture: Managing Your Genes

The more than 3 billion base pairs that make up the DNA in each of your body’s cells provide a blueprint for everything about you. But are you doomed to live out the results of whatever your parents passed on to you – good or bad?
The genetic package we are each left with simply means we have to work harder in some areas than others.

Lifestyle

10 Tips for Losing Weight

Losing weight is one of the top resolutions people make every year, and yet one that people find hard to follow through on. The emotional, physical, and relationship cost of being overweight is heavy!
Here are some tips that I give to my patients when they want help to lose weight. I believe a lifestyle change is the safest, healthiest, and wisest way for most people to lose weight, but you may need some help along the way. Here are some tips to provide some of that help.

The Supplements I Recommend, and Why

Americans love supplements! Roughly half of us use them. We spent $11.5 billion on supplements last year, and that number is consistently climbing.
Here are the criteria I use in choosing whether to recommend a given product or supplement.
And here are the supplements I take, and those I recommend to my patients.

No More Conversation!

Talking is good. Communication is even better. Having a good conversation warms the hearts of friends and improves understanding when people disagree. But talk is cheap!
Waiting until there are no obstacles guarantees that nothing will be done and nothing will change.

A Salute to all Caregivers

I have not been a caregiver in the sense that many are. But if the statistics hold, one day I may be. The number of adults serving as caregiver to a parent, a spouse, or another family member is enormous.
With more of us living longer, the number needing care for illnesses such as Alzheimer’s or other dementia, stroke, or other brain disorders is only getting larger. Numbers can’t describe the emotional, financial, and physical toll caregiving takes on one’s life.
Not having experienced caregiving myself I’m sure anything I say would be inadequate to honor those who take on the responsibility for caring for a loved one. But I do want to say Thank You!

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