Marriage and Relationships
You don’t want to look outside the marriage for satisfaction, but sometimes you’re not sure how much longer you can put up with things the way they are.
But you won her heart once. Wouldn’t you like to do it again? Wouldn’t you like to be her Knight in Shining Armor? Wouldn’t you like for her to look at you the way she did when you first said, “I DO?”
Sure, you want her. You want the physical connection of sex. You want to feel like a man. But you also want more than that. You want her to want you!
EVERY couple will face conflict. The question is not IF you will face conflict, but rather HOW you manage conflicts when they arise. Handling conflict in marriage is a learned skill: no one knows how to do it automatically, but anyone can get better at it.
Don’t be surprised when you and your spouse see things differently: after all, if you were both the same, one of you would be unnecessary! What’s important is what you do then.
Here are five important steps to learn:
Ask a thirty-something single person, and you may well hear moans and groans about the lack of any suitable marriage partners anywhere on the horizon. But then ask the person who has experienced domestic violence, a heart-breaking divorce, or a chronically unhappy marriage full of conflict. They will tell you you’re much better off alone.
Before Al and I got married I heard two wise pieces of advice that can make a difference for anyone who is getting married:
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Yes, that’s the secret of a great relationship. Although good communication between husband and wife is so important, it may not seem easy to do.
“But I have nothing to say. What do we talk about?”
That’s why you’re reading this! If things tend to be somewhat silent between you, here are some suggestions for conversation.
When the person who knows you best also thinks highly of you, it fills your heart like little else can.
If you are not used to praising your spouse, it may seem difficult to find honest reasons to praise him or her. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t there!
I do my best to remind my husband how proud I truly am of him. Here’s what I tell him:
First a disclaimer: I’m not sure there are ANY five steps that guarantee happiness in any area of life, let alone something as long-term and complicated as marriage. But I DO know that there are some things that can make or break the union of two people.
Four years ago today (as I write this) I married Al Tanksley, and I’m more in love now than on the day I said, “I do!”
Here are a few things I believe have made a critical difference in our marriage,