5 Thoughts Before You Speak Harshly

5 Thoughts Before You Speak Harshly

Words can hurt!

Right now, think of something someone said to you that still hurts. Perhaps a parent who sighs, “Why did I ever have another kid?” Or a teacher who declares, “You’re just too stupid to teach!” Or a spouse who yells, “I don’t love you anymore!” Sometimes the wounds caused by such words are never completely healed. Apologies help, but the effects cannot always be completely undone.

It takes real emotional and spiritual maturity to pause before speaking, and to consistently use our words for good and not for ill. (See James 1:26, 3:5)

Husbands and wives have a unique power to build each other up or tear each other down. Much of that power resides in your words. Speaking harshly to your spouse is one of the most destructive things you can do to your marriage.

But what do you do when you’re upset, frustrated, or downright angry at something your spouse has said or done?

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How to Romance Your Sweetheart

Couple Eating near BeachNeed just a little light-hearted lift to your mood today? See if you know the answers to these questions:

Question: “How do you romance a woman?”

Answer: “Wine her, dine her, call her, cuddle with her, surprise her, compliment her hair, shop with her, listen to her talk, buy flowers, hold her hand, write love letters, and be willing to go to the end of the earth and back again for her.”

OK. That sounds about right. Now let’s try again:

Question: “How do you romance a man?”

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The Ethics of a Christian Doctor

Doctor in SurgeryAs an OB-Gyn physician I come face-to-face with the ethical edges of medical care perhaps more often than most. Biology has given us an understanding of the beginnings of human life to an amazing degree, and that’s only one of the cutting-edge arenas science has opened up.

Consider some of the abilities we now have that were unthinkable only a few years or decades ago. Here are only a few of the things we can now do:

  • Know the genetic makeup of an unborn child, or even an embryo
  • Engineer an embryo (and thereby a child) from an egg and sperm totally unrelated to the “intended parents”
  • Separate the recreational and procreative aspects of sexual activity
  • Decide which pregnancies live or die
  • Change some aspect of the genetic makeup of an organ, or a whole human being (almost a reality now)

Only yesterday I had a conversation with a doctor-in-training who is about to go out on her own. She had just been faced with a situation where her ethical philosophy collided with that of another attending physician.

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3 Benefits of Being Single

Single Person with CokeNo little girl grows up dreaming of going to bed every night alone, living by herself in an apartment. No little boy grows up dreaming of always washing his own clothes and cooking his own food. Regardless of whatever else we dream about, most of our childhood dreams include getting married and building a family.

Sooner or later that dream is often somewhat spoiled, broken, or misdirected. Parental divorce, domestic violence, addiction, or our own experiences of broken love may cloud the rosy dream of marital bliss. But for most of us even if that dream is buried, it’s still alive.

Then when marriage doesn’t happen it’s easy to become discouraged. Or perhaps marriage ended and you’re single again. You question, is there something wrong with ME? Where have all the good girls (or guys) gone? Am I doomed to be alone forever? Why doesn’t God answer my prayer for a mate?

I was single for 48 years. Then God brought a wonderful man into my life, and we are very happily married. But I know what it’s like to live year after year alone, wondering why it never happened for me. And I know what it’s like to finally completely give up on ever getting married.

Living alone for all those years, I did learn some very important things about the single life.

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When People Oppose You

When People Oppose You

Man With Stop SignHave you ever tried to accomplish something and found someone trying to block your way? How have you responded?

Just this week I found out that someone I thought of as a colleague was trying to prevent me from practicing medicine in one specific context. At first I was a little surprised, and then I wondered how I should react. Should I be angry?

Then I started to chuckle. This guy is jealous! For some reason he thinks I am competition to him and his business. That’s surprising, as I’ve referred patients to him, and promoted him in other ways. I am doing things he wishes he could do. The only recourse he has is to use his limited power in this specific context to try and slow me down and make things difficult. How small of him!

So no, I’m not angry. I take this as a great compliment. I am making a big enough difference that someone thinks I’m worth trying to stop.

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