Looking For Love: Radical Intimacy

Looking For Love: Radical Intimacy

Remember the movie Urban Cowboy, and one of its hit songs “Lookin’ for Love” (Johnny Lee)? Bud and Sissy are “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places,” and get so hurt in the process.

But don’t we all. We get wound up in knots looking for a kind of love we believe must be there, but somehow can’t quite seem to find.

Two people getting married naturally believe things are going to be perfect from that day on. And then they too often become disillusioned when things get difficult.

The intimacy of marriage can be scary, and it can also be incredibly healing. That’s how marriage was intended to be: for two people broken in different ways, going through life with each other CAN bring healing to our brokenness. It’s one of God’s best methods of helping us become what He knows we can be.

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Are We There Yet?

Watching WatchEver say that when you were a kid? You were on a road trip, and your sense of time was just developing. Your mom or dad may have become exceedingly tired of you asking, “Are we there yet?”

Most of us in our culture have a fast-food mentality. That’s one of the downsides of our electronic world. We are used to getting anything we want right now.

It’s not just limited to fast food restaurants and microwaves. We expect instant information via the internet, instant communication, entertainment on demand, instant shopping and instant money.

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Can I Trust You?

Couple TogetherWe want to be trusted. We want people to think well of us, and believe the best about us. We especially want this from our spouse.

And if trust breaks down in a marriage, it’s hard for the rest of the bonds holding two people together to remain intact.

Trust is not something you can demand from another person. It takes time to develop, but it can be lost in a moment. Once lost, it will likely take much longer to regain that trust again, if ever.

I don’t believe trust is all that hard to understand. If you do what you say, and say what you do, consistently, you can be trusted! I talk about that very thing here.

Why is it that husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends often struggle with trust issues?

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Does What She Says, and Says What She Does

HandshakeDuring the final two years of medical school we spent four weeks at a time following around doctors in a variety of different specialties such as general surgery, pediatrics, OB-Gyn, and many more so-called “rotations.” Sometimes it left you feeling like a ping pong ball: just when you learned how things worked in one area of the hospital, WHAM, everything changed!

It was an important way to learn the different areas of medicine. It helped us decide what we wanted to do after graduation. And we were evaluated every month throughout this process.

At the end of one of those rotations I received one of the best compliments of my life. After all the check-marks in all the little boxes indicating my medical experience in various areas, the supervising doctor wrote on my evaluation, “She does what she says, and says what she does.”

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You Are More Powerful Than You Think

You Are More Powerful Than You Think

In your marriage, you are more powerful than you probably realize. There were very few things that surprised me when I got married. I was mature, I knew my husband well, and we took the time we needed to be sure.

But one thing DID surprise me, and at times still does. I’m still sometimes amazed at how powerful I am in my husband’s life.

It’s not because I have tried to change him, or that I’m especially “strong.” I don’t have any magic formula. And I don’t think I’m all that unique in this area.

I believe both husbands and wives often underestimate how much impact they have, or at least can have, on each other. You waste time and energy trying to force your spouse to change, when if you realize where your power really does lie, you’ll be much more successful than you ever imagined.

This kind of power can be used in both good and bad ways. You have the power to hurt and to heal, to build up or to tear down, to make your spouse dread coming home or anxiously look forward to seeing you again during every moment you’re apart.

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