Research proves it; expressing gratitude is good for you. And it will not only help your mental health; it can transform your marriage. This week we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. So here’s a Thanksgiving challenge to get you started on a new habit that will breathe life into your relationship and step up your personal sense of wellbeing.

This free and simple step takes perhaps one minute a day, but research proves this step will be like a magnet drawing the two of you closer together, create fireworks and butterflies in your soul again, and change you and your spouse into a beautiful princess and a handsome prince and make you both look and feel ten years younger.

And I’m not even exaggerating very much.

Are you ready for this magical revelation?

Tell Your Spouse THANK YOU!

Your marriage has problems. Your spouse is a sinner. (And new flash; so are you!) Life has presented more challenges than you ever expected. Marriage seems dull, or disappointing, or downright miserable.

But simply expressing gratitude can change all of that.

Now, I don’t mean other steps aren’t helpful or important. This is not sweeping problems under the rug or ignoring the mindset and skills you need to learn and develop. But this may be the most important thing of all to start doing today!

Here’s how the challenge works. Each day from now through the end of the year, choose ONE thing to tell your spouse Thank You for. This must be sincere gratitude, not sour grapes or followed by criticism. Start your gratitude statement with:

• Thank you for … (must be specific)
• I appreciate you because of …
• I’m proud of you for …

Each day you express gratitude for something different. You might be used to doing this often, and this challenge will just increase how intentionally you express gratitude to your spouse. It may also be hard. You may have to stretch yourself to find something new each day to be grateful to your spouse about.

Write down what you’re grateful to your spouse for, and read your list over each day before you choose one new thing to thank them for.

And then TELL THEM!

A Few Suggestions

Need some help to get started? Here are a few possible things to express appreciation to your spouse about.

• I appreciate knowing you’re always here when I come home.
• Thank you for noticing when I have a bad day, even if you can’t fix it.
• I’m proud of how you listen to our kids. I’m glad you’re their father.
• You have big dreams for us, and I appreciate that about you.
• Thank you for taking care of your body well.
• The way you smiled at me yesterday – it made me all warm inside. Thank you!
• I’m proud to be married to someone – you – who puts God first.

You’ll come up with your own list. If you think of more than one some days, write them down for future days.

And if you do this from now until the end of the year you’ll be well on your way to establishing a new habit. And I don’t think there’s a much better habit you could start.

Are You Up for the Challenge? 

Just do it! Express gratitude to your spouse starting today. You may be surprised how much this will transform your marriage.

And I want to hear what happens – in your own heart, and in your relationship.

Your Turn: Are you willing to take the Thanksgiving challenge in your marriage? Will you start today? Tell me in the comments one thing you will tell your spouse Thank You for.

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• Here’s a Thanksgiving challenge that will transform your marriage. Each day from now until the end of the year tell your spouse one new thing you’re thankful to them for or proud of them for. Just try it!  Tweet that.

Could Your Marriage Use Some Help?  

You said “I do” expecting lasting connection, intimacy, and joy. But perhaps the reality has become more like loneliness, frustration, and deep misery.

Nobody ever taught you how to love well. But you can learn now! Our Fully Alive Marriage course can help you change direction. You’ll discover practical ways to overcome the issues in your relationship, learn to love well, and know you are doing what’s necessary to build a Fully Alive marriage that lasts.