(This post is especially for wives. Our previous post was especially for husbands.)
Nothing you can say, Can tear me away, From my guy. Nothing you could do, ‘Cause I’m stuck like glue, To my guy.”
Thank you, Smokey Robinson! Even though it’s been 50 years, you expressed what many women would love to be able to say today.
It’s one thing to be stuck to him. But it’s another thing entirely when he’s stuck to you more like a Post-it note instead of glue. Something, or more likely someone, comes along that feels a little stickier, and he sticks there instead.
Let me hasten to make clear that your husband is an adult, responsible before God for his choices and behavior. You cannot make those decisions for him.
But wouldn’t you like to feel his gaze following you around like when you first met? Wouldn’t you love to know you were the focus of his thoughts every waking minute, and that you were the object of his desire? Wouldn’t you like to know that you are Number One to him all over again?
When I was talking with my husband about writing this post he responded, “A woman has no idea how powerful she is to a man.” You can emasculate your husband by tearing him down, refusing to honor and respect his masculinity, and constantly trying to change him. Or you can be his best asset, helping him be the hero you so want him to be.
Remember, you are not responsible for him. But how you carry yourself can make it a lot easier for him to stick to you like glue! You can be the means God uses to help him be the man God created him to be.
Here are 5 ways you can keep him stuck to you like glue:
- Be safe. Most men continually get beaten up in their fight against the world. Bosses, money worries, aging, corporate or job frustrations – he may well feel like it’s too much. He needs a safe place, a refuge, where he can recharge. Be that safe place for him, a place where he can be himself.
- Be respectful. I recently received a comment from a broken-hearted husband: “My wife won’t respect me unless I earn it. Her words.” Your husband thrives on respect, and he will be drawn to where he receives it. Look for the things you can respect about him, and let him know that you do.
- Be encouraging. Your husband is built to be your hero, but he often needs a cheerleader to help him get there. Be his biggest fan. Let him be the young man showing off his chest muscles to you again. Build him up: he’ll want to live up to your image of him. If he changes, it will be because of your encouragement, not your nagging.
- Be responsive. Recognize that the primary way a man expresses his maleness is through sex. We women can express it in other ways including childbirth, nursing, etc. But if you continually reject his sexual advances, you are rejecting him as a man, and it hurts. That doesn’t mean you must say “Yes” every time. But recognize what a powerful impact your responsiveness has on him.
- Be prayerful. Oh, the power of a praying wife! Recognize that God deals with your husband differently than He deals with you. But God may well use your prayers as a vitally important means to work in your husband’s heart. And prayer will be the means by which He gives you the wisdom and strength to be the wife He needs you to be as well.
The best marriages happen when both husband and wife are stuck like glue to each other. And God is the One who can best provide the super-glue to make that happen. Make sure He’s right there with you.
Your Turn: How well are you helping your husband stick like glue to you? What roll do you find prayer has in being a wife? Leave a comment below.
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