Truthfully you should always be kind to your spouse. The problem comes when you confuse kind with nice. And accepting truly destructive behavior is decidedly unkind. Sometimes being kind to your spouse means doing what may seem to be very harsh.
Pain is perhaps the loneliest thing in the world. That goes for emotional pain, physical pain, spiritual pain. It becomes a vicious cycle; you feel alone and it hurts. And that pain makes you isolate even more. It’s as if you physically and/or emotionally curl up into a ball, wrap your tail around your face, and close yourself off to the outside world.
God gave marriage to humankind as a good gift. But just like food, rest, pleasure, money, authority, or any other good thing, we get into serious trouble when we idolize the gift. Whether married or single, we will get wounded and disappointed if we make marriage an idol.
What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? Or is it happening to you right now? Or perhaps the worst is an ongoing challenge that continues to slowly drain the life out of you. Well-meaning people around you may say in various ways, “It will be OK.”
So you’re looking for and praying for Mr. or Mrs. Right, your soulmate, the person God has uniquely created who will bring you joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. And now your heart is beating a little faster. Your emotions are getting hooked. And you wonder, is this The One?