Red, Yellow, Green: The Relationship Traffic Light

Red, Yellow, Green: The Relationship Traffic Light

When I was in elementary school we sometimes played the game of “Red Light, Green Light.” One of us would be “it,” and call out the signals to the rest of us lined up at the starting line. You could move as fast as you wanted when the “light” was green, but if you took even one step after the “light” turned red you had to return to the starting line and start over. The first one to reach the finish line without moving on red was rewarded with being the next “it.”

I doubt elementary students today play “Red Light, Green Light” during recess any longer. It was a simple game, and with sophisticated playground equipment and sports programs in place now they have more entertaining things to do.

But we as adults still play “Red Light, Green Light” in our relationships. And the stakes are so much higher than they were in childhood!

Think of the other people you know. I would guess you could quite easily tell who is giving out a “green light,” indicating

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Men, Women, and Healthcare

Blood Pressure CuffMen and women are different in many ways. Some may argue that the only difference is plumbing, but both you and I know that’s not true!

For over 20 years I’ve been an OB-Gyn physician, which means I’ve taken care of women. I’ve seen how women respond to pain, fear, anxiety, and physical limitations. Yes, women can get quite emotional over things, but they are generally very strong when they need to be.

Now that my husband has been needing some medical care I’ve had a chance to see things from a different perspective. I’ve seen how he responds to pain, fear, anxiety, and physical limitations – and it’s quite different from the way most women do. I think most wives will agree with me that most men need a little something extra to take care of themselves!

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It’s MINE! Owning What Belongs To Me

Taking Home OwnershipPerhaps that sounds like a two-year-old grabbing at a toy and yelling, “Mine!”

It might seem strange, but sometimes I wish more adults would say, “Mine!”

Of course I’m not talking about the immature grabbing at toys. But I AM talking about a sense of personal ownership for the “stuff” that is in our own sphere of influence.

Think of it from the standpoint of a consumer. You make a purchase, and then have a problem. You go to someone for help, and their response is, “I’m sorry: I can’t help you. That’s not my job.”

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What’s Big Enough – To Leave For?

Wedding Rings“For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health, till death do us part.”

If you’re married, your vows may well have included those very words. Or at least something very much like them. And you either repeated those words, or said, “I do.”

So, do you? Still?

I am definitely not launching into

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Never Too Late: Never Too Early

Woman ThinkingMost of the patients I see as a doctor are coming to get help too late. They don’t come until the problem is already so far along. By too late I don’t mean they are about to die: it’s just that often the problem didn’t need to happen in the first place!

Yes, the health care system has become a sickness-care system. It can be difficult to afford medical care, and difficult to access care as well. And yes, there are some medical problems that cannot be prevented.

But too often I see patients who want a magic fix for something they spent a long time causing themselves, knowingly or unknowingly. And sometimes there’s just no good fix available!

Yet even when we’ve made a mess of things, it’s never too late to make positive changes. And seemingly small changes

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